Anxiety will run away with your reason if you let it…
Sometimes the best idea is to take a deep breath and return to the present moment (the only thing – let’s be totally clear – that we the power to do anything about.)
This is so…SO…much easier said than done. But it is – no exaggeration – a key to healthy living.
Me? I’m still working on this nearly 40 years in!
The “could”s and “should”s we impose on ourselves are incredibly damaging, and often the source of a great deal of stress. The other day someone said to me “if only…” and recited a beautiful and perfect scenario (pitted, by the way, against a reality that didn’t turn out exactly that way.)
But my response wasn’t to agree – instead I said, “I believe I am where I am meant to be and that things have happened in this way, with this timing, for a very specific reason. Often in the moment I wonder only to find out down the road that everything fell perfectly into place at the ‘right’ time. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
I guess that means I’m leaning on a whole lot of faith, the belief that magic and miracles exist, and that the Universe does deliver. Now that may feel a lot more “unrealistic” to the naysayer, and definitely to those who land themselves with the “realists.”
No problem! You’re entitled to that view but I – having seen the supernal realm divine a few spells that altered the course of my own life (in very happy ways) – am going to keep airing on the positive side. I also ascribe to the idea that I will attract what I put out – as the kind of person I am, I need to watch this on a regular basis, and shield myself as much as I can from the negative “stuff” floating in the ether.
My skating coach gave me a card when I was just a teenager and it had a picture of someone watching puzzle pieces float down from the sky. . . When he stepped back, he realized he was standing on a vast puzzle beneath him, and everything was fitting perfectly. The card read, “sooner or later, everything falls into place,” and I never forgot it.
You are so much stronger than you think.
When you are in the throes of despair, frustration, anger. . .take a moment to b r e a t h e.
Take a moment – at the hardest time at which TO a breath. Feel…allow…the in…and the out.
Remind yourself within that space that you have accomplished so much more than you are giving yourself credit for. You have surmounted obstacles at one time that seemed impossible. You are in charge.
Remember you are a survivor and a fighter and that you will get through it just like you have so many times before.
Once upon a time I worried about what people thought. I worried about if they’d like what I was wearing, if I looked silly, or if the things I enjoyed weren’t “cool.” But it didn’t last particularly long, those worrisome spells, because I simply couldn’t mold myself to fit within the confines that others did.
Boxes didn’t work for me, and I made myself sick – in the short time I tried to care – trying to figure out what I was “supposed to” do, and “supposed to” be. Based on someone else’s definition, by the way. I was like a dodecahedron trying to fit into a triangular shape – I had so many facets, I’d make a gemologist spin, and the “mold” simply didn’t work.
I feel like that was fortunate for me, though. . .because I learned to just do my thing and be, unabashedly, my curiously off-beat self. It’s so much easier when you don’t have to squeeze yourself in to other shapes. It’s SO much easier being authentic than having to remember the details of the “lie” that you pretend to live.
The world doesn’t need more conformists…it needs the beautiful variety that all of us bring to life. It’s not only okay to be you, it’s what you, and everyone else deserves. If someone takes issue, that’s okay – that’s for them to worry about.
Do your thing, and be ridiculous if you want to. Even if it means wearing obnoxiously-printed leggings, leg warmers a la 1982, and Thundercat shoes at age 38.
Happiness is the heart of the beholder. ❤
Fake it until you make it, as they say. . .
You may not be ready – literally, or in your own mind – to give that monstrous presentation to the CEO.
You may not be ready – literally or. . .in your own mind! – to compete in the next category up in your sport.
You may not be ready to take the next step, whatever it may be. . .
Or, frankly, to face yourself head on, once and for all. . .
But. . .
You can pretend to be brave enough to get by.
Most things in life move fast – ever notice how you say “oh my god, is it APRIL already?! How did the year get here so quickly!?!” It isn’t going to slow down anytime soon. If you worry about not being ready, opportunities will (not maybe) pass you by.
It’s a lot like putting on a “happy face” even when you don’t feel like it – that physiologic action pulls a mind-over-matter type about-face by relaying to your brain that things aren’t so bad after all. The act of smiling in and of itself creates a chain reaction (thank you neural messaging!) that helps lift your mood – when things are severe, any uplift can make a huge difference.
Pretending to be brave may not have the same scientific explanation exactly, but it can bring about a wave of confidence you didn’t know you had. If, in the moment, you are still struggling, remind yourself that being thrown to the wolves, and being UNprepared WILL teach you. A LOT. You will learn from the experience – what to not to do, what to do better, and most importantly, what you did that really worked. Down the road you won’t have to put on the “I’m a shark” face (or…er…fin!) because you will have already proven to yourself you have the wherewithal to kick ass.