Be Ridiculous

Once upon a time I worried about what people thought.  I worried about if they’d like what I was wearing, if I looked silly, or if the things I enjoyed weren’t “cool.”  But it didn’t last particularly long, those worrisome spells, because I simply couldn’t mold myself to fit within the confines that others did.

Boxes didn’t work for me, and I made myself sick – in the short time I tried to care – trying to figure out what I was “supposed to” do, and “supposed to” be.  Based on someone else’s definition, by the way.  I was like a dodecahedron trying to fit into a triangular shape – I had so many facets, I’d make a gemologist spin, and the “mold” simply didn’t work.

I feel like that was fortunate for me, though. . .because I learned to just do my thing and be, unabashedly, my curiously off-beat self. It’s so much easier when you don’t have to squeeze yourself in to other shapes.  It’s SO much easier being authentic than having to remember the details of the “lie” that you pretend to live.

The world doesn’t need more conformists…it needs the beautiful variety that all of us bring to life. It’s not only okay to be you, it’s what you, and everyone else deserves.  If someone takes issue, that’s okay – that’s for them to worry about.

Do your thing, and be ridiculous if you want to.  Even if it means wearing obnoxiously-printed leggings, leg warmers a la 1982, and Thundercat shoes at age 38. 

Happiness is the heart of the beholder. ❤

Save

Imperfection

I sincerely, and truly believe this. . .

screen-shot-2016-12-06-at-8-37-06-am

“Perfection” feels so boring-Ken-and-Barbie-doll.  It’s a plastic word, and sadly one many of us strive for – to our detriment – with ferocity.  

But it’s the IMperfections that add the layers of depth to an otherwise mundane surface. . .and mundane just won’t do.  It is – without question – a matter of how we perceive our surroundings and reality, NOT the surroundings and reality themselves.

We get to choose how we see.  We get to choose the light in which we cast our experiences.  We get to choose “positive,” if we want it.

How beautiful is that?

Illamasqua – SOPHIE Anti-Bullying Campaign

If there is one thing I don’t like to do, it’s engage in political diatribe, or proselytize my own views.  While I’m not opposed to important discussions, I have found that one or the other can often turn out heatedly, but generally not with good resolve. I try to keep my opinions about such things to myself, and simply listen when others care to share (or ignore the vehement postings if I must.)

That said, I am really big on anti-bullying, and because I work with children in Marital Arts, I like to encourage education about what seems to be more and more prevalent these days. Having been the subject of several forms of abuse from partners in my past, I can safely say it is a topic that some have a hard time speaking up about, particularly as the victim.  Bullying in and of itself is a very primal act…and one you might expect humans would have the wherewithal to override.  While dominance is oft exerted in the animal kingdom, I feel that the deliberate taunting is something human beings have added to the mix. 

I like that Illamasqua – a brand that stands apart in a multitude of ways – is so outwardly supporting this cause.  I can’t say that I was outrageously divergent aesthetically, but I got to a point where I was enough so, that I got teased, talked about, harassed too… That wasn’t the “abuse” in my own life so much, but it was pretty terrible.  While I managed to sidestep most of it (mainly I was distracted by worse!) I understand what it’s like.

Illamasqua has been honoring the memory of Sophie, a young lady who was the horrifying subject of bullying gone to the extreme, since her passing in 2007.  Each November they run a campaign to spread the word, and to take proceeds and donate them to a worthy cause. 

I have no affiliation with this company in any way, and in fact learned about Sophie some years ago through them.  But again, I respectfully share because it’s important that no one is alone in their suffering.  

Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

I actually don’t eat cake…BUT…my habitually clean eating was more than delighted to take a minor respite for dessert on October 29th. I wouldn’t have missed my wedding cake for the world.

I can’t seem to get off cloud 9 (not that I’m aiming to – I think I’ll take up residence, actually), and no amount of sugar could have bounced me from it.

The day was every bit as vampy and Halloween as I always dreamed… ❤  And while part of me wants to keep my custom cake a secret…I have to share, knowing others (Tim Burton fans?  Gothic at heart?!) can appreciate its offbeat beauty, and unconventionality.

My custom, Halloween wedding cake! <3

My custom, Halloween wedding cake! ❤

We don’t do normal…though frankly I don’t think a soul present expected anything but unabashed badassery (while I’m not quite on par, my husband is definitely UBER cool, and “badass” in my book is worthy of aspiration! 😉 ) 

The inside was red and purple velvet…and perfectly “to die for.”  Even for my non-sugar-coated heart.

❤ 

Halloween In The Land Of Etsy

Aaaannnd more stores with Halloween fronts… *grinning ear to ear*

In this case, incredibly innovative Halloween jazz!  Etsy is one of my favorite online shops – I even bought things for my October wedding on here.  The brilliant minds, ever creating curiosities and fun – it’s never ending.  For this holiday in particular, you are guaranteed to find some specialty, unique stuff – costumes, accessories, decor…whatever!

etsy.com

etsy.com

 

etsy.com

etsy.com

etsy.com

etsy.com

Priceless…PS…that the suggested “favorites” and “you might also like” that Etsy shares with me always lean Halloween anyway… ❤

Etsy Suggestions! How appropriate...

Etsy Suggestions! How appropriate…

Bunnicula Pendant

PopEtiquette doesn’t appear to be selling this pendant anymore but it cropped up in Pinterest and – once again in anticipation of #thebestdayever / #halloween – I had to share…  

I’ve lived with the “Bunny” nickname for as long as I can remember – but only my mother gets to use it!  My father has some derivation thereof, but also makes full use of “Witchlet,” which says rather a lot.  

My affinity for all things Hallows, vampy, and otherworldly have earned me some fun designations in my family,and among friends.  During one Thanksgiving I recall my family and another, dear friends of ours, all playing Taboo – it was a HUGE group, jovial and in the throes of heated competition!  My brother drew a card and for a moment paused and seemed flustered…

He then blurted loudly “MY SISTER IS THIS!  To my surprise – which perhaps was entirely out of place – “VAMPIRE” was yelled in rapid reply.  My brother’s ebullient reaction let me know the nail was hit right on the head (not into the coffin, though you may think!)

We had a solid laugh about that and – in a strange, vampy way – I felt distinguished.  I appreciate that everyone indulges me in my quirkiness – I was, 1,000%, born that way.  

Humor, And The Perfect Woman

I give myself a SERIOUSLY hard time sometimes.  I’m not exactly a typical female and though I am thankful to be as I am, there are times when I have felt badly when other impose their own interpretations of what a woman “should be” on me.

Heaven forbid I say “I don’t cook.”  I mean that generally.  You won’t find me with an apron on baking casseroles, for sure, but that doesn’t mean I’m a total dolt.  I can manage with the smaller variety of things I eat…and I’m absolutely certain I can follow a recipe (I cooked a lot with my parents when I was little.)  But just because baking isn’t my favorite hobby…or being ultra feminine won’t work for my sportier lifestyle, I shouldn’t feel badly.

And you shouldn’t EITHER.

Don’t let anyone else define you, put you down, or place you in a box. 

Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that another person’s definition of “perfect” may well deviate (even substantially) from our own.  There is nothing wrong with that!  

We all have gifts, and all have room to grow.  

We all have preferred activities, and those that just aren’t so much our thing.  

And in the end, that’s kind of what makes the planet so interesting, isn’t it?  If everyone was cookie cutter, I think I (for one) would be highly disturbed! 

I appreciate my glamorous friends, as much as my sporty ones, my bohemian ones, and the workaholics… I love them all, and appreciate most that THEY are happy.

Conforming just doesn’t work for me – it’s such a drag, and not worth anyone’s time to stress about!  If, as a human being, you do feel down about it, remember that YOUR “prefect” may not be everyone’s “perfect”…but there are countless others to whom your ideal is also perfection.

It’s all in the way you define your terms anyway.

I DO cook.  

I definitely “IRON.”  

And I always make sure home is nice and clean. 🙂

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 12.56.14 PM