There are a thousand reasons why this idea should be prized. . .
Words have power and sometimes it is better to remain silent, lest ignorance, impatience, anger, or inability to understand cause more harm than good.
Sounds easy. . .but. . .it isn’t. It’s a life-long pursuit to manage the gift of language we’ve been given. Sometimes nothing feels better than sharing, commenting, responding, speaking. . . But a lot of times silence is a wiser, if not kinder, response.
While I am a long way from mastering the skill, it’s a good reminder that there’s a time and a place to use the gift of speech. Before engaging, thinking is often a great idea.
The other day a friend said something to the effect of the below, and it is a tenet I really believe in – each and every part of it.
Honesty is one of my top “must-haves” – not only do I need it, but I hold myself to it also. No matter the nature of the relationship (familial, personal, simply interpersonal), it won’t be a healthy or lasting one without honesty.
That said, it is vital we learn to say what we need to without being mean about it. Criticism is hard to take, but when it is constructive, it’s important for us to hear.
There is a way – and a tone – in which we can deliver criticisms, however – we need to remember that delivery directly affects receptivity. Further, if we think about how we’d like such commentary delivered to US, we might take a moment before speaking.
Our conduct matters – it not only is a reflection of us, but it affects us, and those around us. We all need to be able to say what we feel – learning and growing is an integral part of life, together with our loved ones, and on our own. But we do have a choice about how we proceed, how we speak to one another, and whether or not we are upstanding and honest with our word at all times.
Don’t I know this dilemma!
Tactics to combat it?
- Get moving! Do some kind of activity, even housework if you are cooped up – SOMEthing will put your mind on other things.
- Reach for something healthy first. Sweeter whole fruits, for example, are a much better bet than sugary or fatty foods, and they are liable to fill you up with water and fiber, in addition to hitting your sweet tooth.
- Intellectualize. You know what’s really going on – own up to it, and don’t give in.
- Know your portions. If you have tried everything, and you are still feeling the overwhelming urge to snack, grab a pre-portioned package…not the full size. I’ve seen more and more snacks coming out in individual bags or packs – a wonderful thing! If your favorite crave-worthy item DOESN’T come that way…think ahead and make your own. Small snack ziplock bags are your best friend in this case. Not to mention, you can put those things higher up on a shelf, as an example, to make them more of a hassle to get to. Keep in mind the best defense is not buying those things in the first place but…again…if you feel like deprivation will make things worse, and trigger binge eating, try the above method.