Fitness Humor – Cardio Motivation

I hate cardio.  Truly… Being on a treadmill, for one thing – for me – takes a bit of mental prep.

That said, I’d take it any day over this alternative (or a web, because that can be horrifying also, though maybe a step down from actual arachnids.)

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(C) John McPherson / Cartoonstock

Cobwebs

All I can say is, I’d be running around in this gown (at home, of course) if I could get my paws on it!  ❤ 

Given the description, I’m not entirely sure whether it is an illustration or a real piece (trust me, I’ve inquired!) *lol*  It’s effectively more body jewelry then it is a “dress” but my Pagan heart is in full swoon wither way.

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I mean, golden cobwebs?!  How incredibly vampilicious.  I feel like it’s nigh impossible to outdo Morticia or Lily but this is teetering on the verge of spotlight-stealing.  Personally, I’m totally head over broomstick.

 

Martial Arts Humor – The Web

Ain’t this the truth…?!

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I once “levitated” off the back end of my friend’s horse, having come upon a ghastly banana spider spiderweb (creator, dead center!) which would have been a chest plate had I proceeded on my forward trajectory.

No, Sir, I went back and down immediately, with some sort of kihap on the way down.  Babe, my wonderful horse, stopped and stood, ever so stately (probably trying not to let on his true estimation of me.  That’s right – moron!  It was a long way down.)

I’m delighted to report, however, that my training afforded me the ability to maneuver back up-and-over from a low ditch without much trouble.  It was worth the effort to have avoided the sticky, spider-infested wrap I would have been wearing otherwise.

I was very much a full-on Ninja at that moment.  Now…to be that way ALL the time.

SpiderChucks

As is no doubt apparent from some of my other posts…I have a Converse All Star Chuck Taylor fetish.  Yep, I readily and openly admit it!  I wouldn’t be surprised if I am the only person in my town with these babies…not even only female…I mean only PERSON.

I remember seeing these “Spider Chucks” crop up some years ago – I was still in Fashion, so I was constantly motoring and scouting shoe sites for the latest and greatest.  Well, these seemed to disappear quickly, and I can’t even recall how I managed to track them down.  But…where there is a will, there’s a way!

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Red and black happen to be two major favs of mine, as far as “colors” go.  Not to say I’m not in love with color but…they work as a default! 😉  

The sidewall and toe cap are appropriately blacked out for this style, with a red side wall stripe and sassy (I am a female, remember!) spider webs in smoke grey on the caps.  

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The widow hourglasses up the spine of the heel TOTALLY rock…and then of course there SHE is on the outer heel and tongue (the latter of which also touts a black and smoke web.)  Deadly?  Hell yes

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The black laces and gunmetal eyelets work perfectly, as does the solid black logo star (glad they didn’t go two-tone because it would have taken away from the pattern.  It’s just busy enough.)

I’m so happy I snagged these at the time – since I like the rarer Chuck finds, I have to go for it right then or I may be scouring eBay for years to come!

Superhero Cardio

I saw a great quotation on Facebook the other day – no one took credit in particular, otherwise I’d post it!  I was pretty much on the floor because I’m really not a major fan of cardio, and it was SO, SO true – I’d say about 99% of people in this circumstance would start running.  

Or jumping around.  

Or something to elevate the heart rate (if it wasn’t already up!)

(I personally have an experience not unlike this quotation…but it involved a horse, a limbo, and a gymnastic dismount into a ditch in the woods.  Pretty?  No.  Graceful?  Surprisingly, kind of.  Hilarious?  I’m STILL laughing months later!)

I’ve definitely done my share of cardio but…it’s tough fighting through sometimes.

I find that HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) works best – either on the spin bike (I have a fan on mine. ~*hands on hips*~ I’m not embarrassed!) or on the treadmill (which has NO fan, and therefore is even less, er, “thrilling.”) Spoken like a true ice skater, I know. 

Typically I do under an hour – usually 30 to 45 minutes, with some warm up and cool down.  There’s a PLETHORA of literature out there about HIIT so I don’t necessarily have to go into the nitty gritty – but, though I have MANY endurance athlete friends (who are amazing, by the way!) HIIT works very well for:

  • Torching fat (yay!)…
  • Raising metabolism (double yay!)…
  • Pushing folks past plateaus quite successfully.  

My sprints are generally 20 to 30 seconds, and I vary the “rest” in between.  Might be 10 second, a la “Tabata,” or 30 seconds…even 90.  

But sprints = results…so I stick with it.

That said, cardio that I am AWARE of is never fun.  Martial Arts is great because it engages my mind more, as skating and dancing did – time flies and calories are burned!  Distance treadmill?  FORGET IT!  Distance outdoor running?  Aside from being roadkill a mile in, my shins and knees say “no thanks!”  

So this quotation gave me a real laugh…

A week's worth of cardio

 

And honestly…if it wasn’t funny enough, I breezed past this Facebook post from Gym Flow 100, and I nearly fell off the chair.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=762681980436055&set=vb.382997228404534&type=2&theater

I mean listen…the outfit might help.  I’m not saying it will be what actually BURNS the calories, but it sure as heck might motivate you to run your fastest.  *Note that it works best if you pair this outfit WITH the music.  iPods work nicely.