This is totally true – I don’t share food well.
Every so often I’m asked what I do, or how I stick to my guns, in order to reach the goals I’ve set for myself. Some of my friends have said I stick to my routine like my life depends on it. While it’s *generally* true that I color in the lines, it doesn’t mean it’s a piece of cake all the time. Cake? Where?! Is it chocolate!? (See what I mean…?)
Some days it’s a challenge to keep myself on track, but I do have a few tried-and-true tricks to help me stay on the bandwagon when I want nothing more than to hurl myself off it!
Now it may be I’m already that crazy personality type that pushes myself extra hard…in everything…(and boy, is that exhausting!) It could be that I like routine. Or maybe it’s because I’ve seen other people succeed, and I want to get there too. Either way, these tricks do come in handy, and are worth a shot if you are having some difficulty motivating. . . They have helped me enormously, and continue to.
What is willpower, though, anyway? Willpower is typically used to refer to that miraculous, supernal compass that allows us to abstain from whatever it is that ISN’T so good for us… Or, as the dictionary puts it:
For me, that would be eating whatever I want, not getting up and exercising most days, and not following through with the things that will help me grow as a person, or in a field I’m interested in. I’ve admitted to myself full-on how much easier that life would be…but when I think about the implications of walking that path, I’ve rerouted very quickly…
So there’s tip #1 right there…
This trick works for me the majority of the time. I don’t really consider it as guilting myself into things, it’s more that I focus on the implications of NOT doing the action I’m struggling with, OR staying where I am…which is not where I want to be. I know that if I decide to abandon my dietary habits, I skip my physical activities, give up on something I really want to learn (which I almost did recently!)…I’m going to suffer on a number of levels. I’ll feel more exhausted, depressed about how I feel / look / not achieving, my skin will probably freak out, the doctors (I’m sure) will be on my case, and I’ll very likely be in a shitty mood all around. Bad for everyone!
Then there’s tip #2…which is similar to the first, but it puts things in a positive light (which, frankly, is where I personally prefer to be.)
When I focus on my goals, I get the most bang for my buck – more so than #1 because, again, I’m making this positive. I focus on what I want most – whether to maintain my current condition, learn more about a subject I’m new to, achieve the next rank in my Martial Art… Whatever the goal is, I focus on HOW I WILL FEEL once I HAVE IT. That’s how the magic begins. How to keep it going? Picture it as if you ALREADY HAVE IT. Once you get there, you’re golden. There are mornings that getting up and spinning is the last thing I want to do. But I focus on the feeling of “that felt great – I did it, and I worked hard, and now I’m ready for the day!” Focusing on the feeling I’ll have in accomplishing that goal makes all the difference.
Progress snapshots can take a lot of forms – it really depends on what the goal is. If it’s with regard to my Martial Arts, I’ll make sure to take periodic photos of my attendance card to see just how far I’ve come, and how close my next test is. If it’s with regard to physical condition, photos go a LONG way. Photos help us to keep track of how we are doing in the most real sense – I’ve caught myself being off track from pictures plenty of times! It’s not easy to see ourselves as we really are sometimes – photos keep us honest.
Life is a challenging journey any way you slice it. There will be ups and downs, and days you don’t damn well feel like “making a gratitude list!” That’s okay. What’s important is that you are gentle with yourself in understanding we all get a little sidetracked from time to time. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling fully. Then dust yourself off, remind yourself how far you’ve come / that you have made it through successfully before (and I guarantee that you have!), and get to it! Wallowing in our shortcomings is incredibly dangerous, and a surefire way to keep the negative cycle going. Chin up – you can do it!
Don’t forget to share your progress with those you trust and love – I assure you that they will want to share in your joy, encourage your continued journey, and would be willing to help you in any way they can. That’s what loved ones are there for! You aren’t alone, and you don’t have to go it alone. If you are having a tougher day, it’s okay to ask a loved one for help, to vent, or to ask for a proper kick in the ass – like being brutally honest! – when you need it.
I’m as guilty of the next person of putting myself down, and putting road blocks in my own way with negative thoughts or language. It’s vital that we work on using positive language, such as “I can!”…and using it all the time. When we are stuck in a rut, or feeling miserable about past failures, that’s when using positive language (and / or replacing negative language) is the most important. We must remember that there is always a new opportunity waiting – there is no better time than the present to get back on track, and we can do that at any moment. Forget four letter words like “can’t” as they serve only to derail. Make sure your language is positive, and you are on your way!
Willpower can be hard to come by all the time…but it is NOT an impossibly-achieved, elusive superpower. The more we work at it, the more we will have.
So. . .
TIP #1 – Internalizing / Visualizing / Owning the Implications
TIP #2 – Internalizing / Visualizing / Owning…and FEELING…the Goals
TIP #3 – Progress Snapshots
TIP #4 – Be Gentle With Yourself
TIP #5 – Share the Joy…AND the Challenges!
TIP #6 – Change Your Inner Dialogue
You’ve GOT THIS!
Never stop saying “I love you” – to hear those words can alter the course of a day. Or a lifetime.
Never stop appreciating those who make your world brighter, including their quirks, differences, eccentricities…even those qualities that irk you from time to time. Remember to let them know in words and actions…
Hold their hand just because. Kiss them when they least expect it. Give them a hug, or leave them a positive note, or just call to say “hello.”
The “little things” have the power to alter the deepest pain, fiercest anger, and most pressing frustrations. They remind us of our blessings when we lose sight of them, and they remind those we love that they are valuable in this life…in our life.
Life is precious, and so very fleeting – Love is a gift to cherish, but above all to share and express. To “give back” ensures that what time we – and our loved ones – do have is lived to the happiest full. ❤
Yes. Yes, definitely how I get. Not with cake, so much…but any food I DO want.
My father will tell you it’s pointless to try to abscond with what I’m eating (or WANT to eat) because it will turn ugly.
And my husband would probably say that if you eat my chocolate muffins, the same look flashes across my face as the rather disgruntled baby above. Always best to be sure I’m not in range of any sharp objects – I never was great at sharing. It’ll just go south.
I saw this posted today, and I smiled for two reasons…
For one thing, I’ve always been a HUGE Grinch fan – anything of the monster-ish ilk was up my alley even early on. I insisted we watch this each Christmas, and never seemed to tire even of the “fahoo forays, yahoo dorays.”
As for second part, the Suess-ie blurb speaks to something that I really believe in – a reminder I want to shout from the Grinch-inhabited hilltops whenever December rolls around. Or maybe just in overcrowded, emotionally-charged retail parking lots. . .
I’m a “giver” so I get the idea of wanting to share with others – it’s a wonderful feeling to give something that we know a person wants or. . .better!…truly needs.
At the same time, though…it is not NOT NoT about the gifts. Everyone gets CRAZY around Christmastime. WHY?! People have this immense pressure to buy, buy more, buy again…to wrap and deliver. But that’s not what it’s is about… I feel like I’m always left so baffled.
There are of course layers of religious meanings and importance surrounding mid-December (through to early January) depending on the culture and beliefs. But I’m not even talking about THAT (far too great a topic, far too weighty!)
I just mean that this time of year isn’t about throwing material things around, so much as true, sincere giving. I’m not saying I didn’t get gifts as a kid…or that I still don’t. For children, especially, it’s exciting. There are generally rituals built around Christmas morning, and I love seeing happy faces. But there really DOES have to be a point at which it goes overboard.
My favorite gift – the one I looked forward to every year – was my red snow shovel. My parents didn’t know that for a long time, but it was the ONE THING I absolutely LOVED getting. I would use it to help my father shovel the driveway…and to me, it therefore well transcended the “material.” It was such a fun event, despite the work involved – the “shovel” represented time we’d spend together, outside, enjoying the snow and fresh air.
As we got older there were years where my parents would have us all choose a charity and give to each one instead of getting each other things we wouldn’t use. (I think the whole “wouldn’t use” part tends to happens far too often as we pass into teen and adulthood. And frankly, I don’t think there’s anything I CAN get my family and loved ones that they really want – we all kind of get what we want and need anyway!)
I don’t think gifts are a “bad” thing, don’t get me wrong. It means a lot to some people to give, and in that way denouncing the whole thing would be denying them something that makes them feel great. What I think is important, though, is that people don’t feel obligated and pressured to buy things. Certainly not “BIG” things.
The “holiday spirit” is more about the thoughtfulness above and beyond anything else. And I’ve gotten to a point where time and connection with loved ones, HAPPY loved ones, and health for all of us, is – * yes, really * – all I want. Those things are far more precious to me. The little things, like a random “I love you,” lights up my world with a brilliance no material item could. Life is precious.
So even if gifts are part of the holiday “thing”…just remember that you don’t have to stress out about getting the latest and greatest. There are ways to give, to share, to receive, without having to go crazy (no one needs an extra car accident, or angry retail exchange!)
Enjoy the essence of the holidays while they are here – the gathering of those we love, and the blessings we already have. Generally speaking, those in your circle will be happy no matter what. . .and if you want to reach out to those in need (people, animals alike!), there’s plenty room there too. ❤