Let Go Of *Should

“Should” is dangerous.  It looks perfectly benign, and wasn’t exactly something I grew up thinking deeply about – it’s just a word after all.  Right?

“Should,” however, can quickly turn into trouble when we apply it to our situation, for example.  “I should have more money by now,” “I should have reacted differently,” I shouldn’t have studied ____ in school…now it’s too late,” or “I should have listened to so-and-so.”

Life is a journey – we are all presented with circumstances, joys, challenges, and opportunities as they are meant for us. . . I sincerely believe we are precisely where we need to be.

If we had more money, maybe it would be at the expense of our own self-worth, or our family’s happiness.  If we reacted differently to a stimulus, perhaps that resultant, and positive opportunity, would not have been made available. If we didn’t study what we had, perhaps we’d not have come to the realization that we are best suited for another area.  If we listened to so-and-so, maybe we wouldn’t have made the mistake that finally put us on a path to recovery…

There are so many “what-if”s and if we play too much with them in our minds, we neglect all the blessings we have in front of us.  To say should” imposes on reality the idea that we are not where we should be… And yet there are so many circumstances where we find our lives falling right into place, rather miraculously.

When we use “should” with respect to ourselves, it can become much more than a word – when we say things like “I should have known better,” or “I shouldn’t be ________” we are adding a layer of self-judgement to the mix.  It becomes less about a word, and more about an attitude – and when we use words with respect to ourselves, we begin to believe them….

None of us are perfect. . .and that’s okay. There is no “right way” to be, neither a flawless mold to which to adhere.

Each of us is on a unique path, and we are – even when it seems otherwise – right we are meant to be.  When we view our world from this lens, we bring the present back into focus, diminishing the anxieties, worries, self-imposed judgments and falsities that the brain likes to dwell on when we revisit our past…or project into the future.

Including “should” in our conversations with ourselves begins to erode our self-confidence – it can do so not only unbeknownst to us, but at a frighteningly rapid pace.  To let go of the notion allows our inner dialogues to remain healthy, and as we are a reflection of the divine around us (whatever that means to you) those words we speak about ourselves matter.

Our lives are like flowers whose petals must unfold as they – and Nature – are ready. To rush them is to destroy the life itself, whether directly or on a more, shall we say, spiritual level.  

Allow yourself the room to BE without the confines of “should” – even when life feels askew, remember that the last time it felt that way, the cycle came whirling back around to everything-is-okay.  

And…it will be. ❤

Empaths – What Nothing Feels Like

For Empaths, there is no nothing-ness – for every breath, and every moment, there are five senses, and beyond.  We feel as if to do so is to sustain our very life itself.  

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Knowing Your Darkness

To face oneself head-on is to show true strength, for none of us shine without some darkness in the mix.  To openly delve into our depths is to learn, to grow, and to better grasp the nature of Life.  No man is without some sin or flaw, but if we can see our own shortcomings rightly, we are all the more able to accept, understand, even appreciate those around us – the battles are always raging, though often they are invisible to the outside eye.

There is no perfection among us, neither any living species. Perfection is an elusive and false idea that cannot be achieved nor, frankly, should it – without darkness, as they say . . .

Life molds us in such a way – through beauty and pain – but with gentle acknowledgement, and a lot of work, we can be better people each day.

The journey takes time – sometimes a life to its full.  It takes failure, making mistakes, patience, forgiveness of ourselves and others, and willingness to learn. . .but it is possible not only to come out unscathed, but grateful, healthy, happy and wise in the end.   

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Afraid Of The Dark

There are times in Life when it seems all light extinguishes, leaving blackness, fear, and despair.  

And yet. . .

In the midst of it. . .if we look deep without our inner recesses, we will find the inextinguishable flame we’ve carried all along.

Remember what you have accomplished.  Remember the demons you’ve conquered, the tears and blood you’ve shed.  For you are a warrior, stronger than anyone else can ever know.  You are a survivor, you are beautiful, and you are a beacon of light in spite of all.

Stress – We Always Have A Choice

I’m still working on this one, and I am certain I’ll be at it for a while.  But deep down, I fully believe in this concept, and I am getting better about stopping myself when my thoughts *try* to sabotage my mind, emotions, and body.  Like I said...*working on.*

The key is consistency – the efforts we make to apply it to ourselves, every…single…day, regardless of what’s going on around us.  In my mind it isn’t necessarily a lofty goal, so much as a slow-and-setady one.  It also happens to be an incredibly noble one and – should we truly desire peace in our lives – wholly achievable.

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Happiness And Peace Are Up To You

As an empath and co-dependant type, this is something I work on regularly – I’m worlds better  than I once was, and I’m able to hear this sentiment in my mind even during the toughest times. I’ve referred to this idea often because it’s juts so powerful. . .

I remember watching Labyrinth as a kid – you remember that film with David Bowie as the Goblin King, right?  Yeah, that one.  (Don’t judge!) Well, for whatever the reason, I always noted – rather firmly – the “you have no power over me” part (the phrase alluded to in my early post, as linked above.)  It just stuck.  That said, I didn’t really apply it to myself until many…many…moons later.

Today I find myself going back to the sentiment – OFTEN.  As they say, everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  You never know what’s going on with someone else, and therefore cannot know the impetus behind their actions.  The reactions others have are (truly) their own and what we see is not always an accurate reflection of the full picture. Because of this, it is important we remind ourselves that whatever negativity comes our way – no matter the form – it doesn’t have power over us unless we let it.  

As human beings, we feel – for empaths, profoundly – and that’s okay.  But we do have a choice about whether we go flying off the tracks in anger, sadness, hurt etc…based on the actions of others.  We don’t HAVE to.  Neither they, nor any other junky energy, need ruin a beautiful day, or change our positive approach – only we can decide that.

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