Believe it! ❤
It’s a simple phrase – two words, to be exact – but it can have a profound effect on how your life unfolds. I’ll share an example below…
It is a human problem to get caught up in “should,” in “what is,” and “what could be” – everyone projects at times, and everyone worries. We also often mix up what we can change with the multitude of external influences that we can’t. Here’s a not-so-secret secret:
CONTROL WHAT WE CAN – US
Yes, I know…humbling. But, so true. We have absolutely ZERO control over anything but ourselves. Don’t lose hope, throw in the towel, or begin assuming that means we are on a predestined path-‘o’-doom just yet, though. We aren’t! By controlling ourselves – the only sphere in which we truly have power – we are able to affect what goes on around us.
OUR INTERNAL DIALOGUE MATTERS
As per my post yesterday, Speak Victory, Not Defeat, the conversations we have internally can literally map out how our path unfolds before us. Positive thinking, energy, and words can – oh yes, quite literally! – attract the good you are hoping for. Ever heard “be careful what you wish for”? There’s a reason people say it…because enough people have experienced the “hoping-for-the-worst-and-that’s-exactly-what-happened!” Another sterling example of how life is shaped by the input we provide it – I’m willing to bet you’ve been there.
The energy we put out tells the Universe what we want – without judgment it tries to match our “desires.” The intense focus and power we give to our thoughts is like handing over a blueprint to the powers that be. “Thoughts become things,” they say… Yes. They do.
SHIFT OURSELVES, SHIFT THE UNIVERSE
I’m not saying it’s wrong to want to buffer oneself against disappointment, by the way. I also don’t think it’s necessary that we lower our standards. Rather, it’s about altering our own perceptions and expectations. When we see and expect great things, they often find their way to us. When we don’t, life can become a merciless tidal wave.
So how do we shift that little thing called the Universe? We rephrase. Instead of “I can’t afford that,” we could say “I have more than enough to do all the things I want and need to do.” Instead of “I can’t” try, “I can do anything I put my mind to – I attract positive opportunities all the time.”
Here’s an example from my own life…
Somewhere around three weeks after meeting my husband, I told him a story about magic and miracles. Until I finished speaking, I’m not sure he knew I was referring to him…
We were having dinner at a diner in our hometown, and I remember – wholly unabashedly – explaining how I had (only a few months before) announced to the Universe that I was all-in for a change. A complete overhaul. I was so committed to being happy and healthy, that nothing was to stand in my way. I had decided that either:
Yes, I was that specific.
And…even more so…
I made a vision board and described – to a T – the man I was sitting with that night, and the man I married one Halloween a year and a half later. I described qualities that I so desperately wanted in a partner, but ones I never had. I described a man who was loyal, honest, gentle with my heart, accepting of me in spite of my quirks, who would respect and love me more with each day. I described the kind of person who would be as excited about my passions as I was, for no other reason that they brought me joy. I described the kind of man anyone would want in their corner because he’d have a heart brighter than the sun…
And then? I took it further. I embraced the “AS IF.”
New Years passed and I not only continued to remain committed to myself, but I made it a point to practice daily. I thought about what it would be like to come home to someone who was actually happy to see me at the end of the day…because no one else ever was. I acted AS IF that actually happened, and I’d hear him in my mind coming home and speaking to me with kindness. I’d make myself feel what it would feel like to be held, and loved, and cherished…AS IF I already had those things.
I not only focused, thought, spoke aloud…but I believed. I believed I was worthy and deserving. I believed those things AS IF. It took some practice as I had not known what such things felt like…but I did everything in my power to try.
I remember the look he had in his eyes when I finished speaking that evening. I remember my voice saying that I had dreamed so deeply that my thoughts became real, and that in a moment of magical manifestation, he walked out of a snow storm and through the door at the coffee shop where we met. I remember the hug he gave me before I got into the car after dinner, and the feeling of safety, comfort, warmth, and joy.
STAY IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT
I was never the kind of person who needed to be in a relationship. I never felt that I needed to be “completed,” and I wasn’t desperate to be in another situation after so many that had failed. I was a shell of a person for a long time, and it still takes work to be a better human being each day – something I ever strive for. But I decided that the only thing that would hold me back is ME – my thoughts, energy, action, and words. I needed to do an about-face, jump back on the positive bandwagon, and to act AS IF the things I wanted had already come to pass. When I did, my life shifted dramatically…
I remember, also, when I shifted jobs earlier on in my career – I remember whenever I started to feel unappreciated, not challenged enough, or that I wasn’t growing on the trajectory I had set for myself, something else came along. When I think about it, I was envisioning being promoted, or being eagerly offered something new. And opportunities always managed to materialize. Maybe I was young and felt naively impervious – that may be true. But I recall not having the sense that I couldn’t – it just felt like opportunity was there and I could have it. (I also, by the way, remember leaving my last job in Fashion…which was horribly unpleasant. It was, however, something I sincerely believe I “wished for.” Tale for another day, but let’s just say, I was heard by someone upstairs!)
Life is tumultuous and we have no way of knowing what is to come. We can stay worried and stressed, which is a horrible way to exist (we rob ourselves of joy and the ability to experience life!) OR…we can practice positivity and act AS IF. Trust me, I’m working on it too – being an Empath means I feel my own emotions (rather loudly!) and everyone else’s too. I have to work at not taking things that aren’t mine, and finding the space to breathe. But…I DO. I turn the radio down and talk to myself ALL. THE. TIME. I make it a habit to say something nice to myself, and to act AS IF as much as I can. Even when we know it’s the best way to be, it isn’t easy! But…it’s possible, and it’s the “possible” we want to aim for.
I love this sentiment (compliments of one of my favorite Facebook sites, The Empath Universe.) It speaks to the notion that our conversations with ourselves can (rather profoundly) impact whether we are creating, manifesting, and building in our lives OR breaking down and blocking
I personally believe in the power of…
As such, I live a very magical life – one I am more in control of than I am not, which is somewhat “divine” in and of itself. Having seen monumental changes – flat-out miracles – in my own life (as defined by me, naturally), I find myself utterly unconcerned with the wailings of naysayers and disbelievers. Their hooting and hollering can’t derail a train on the right track in spite of a ways yet to go.
When we are able to stay in the moment, positively focused on being, we bind ourselves to the very fibers of life’s cloth – a rich, complex, and vital tapestry. We go along for the ride gripping the wheel, helping the threads find their way…as opposed to remaining detached and in the passenger’s seat. Our thoughts and words (spoken and silent) can fully shape the path in front of us, literally altering the course of life itself. Resigning yourself to a certain doom (notice I said “doom,” not “fate” – negativity begets more of it!) is an injustice to yourself. There is nothing keeping you from every detail of the beautiful life you want.
The catch? It isn’t always easy to don our rose-colored glasses when things aren’t exactly the way we want them to be. Jumping into “happy” can feel as much as an exercise in futility as trying to stop Father Time – can’t do it. But the more we practice, the better we get at nipping our negative self-talk and our downward-to-the-doldrums spirals before either get out of control. And that’s really the magic of maintenance, right? If we start with a clean home and try to do little things each day to keep it that way, it won’t suddenly look like a tornado has come through.
Or, think of it as weeding a garden… Leave things because “I can get to it tomorrow” and you’ll find the flowers / vegetables / whatever are overrun to the point of “I guess next year…??” Little efforts daily can make a massive difference and…practice helps you get there.
A few daily reminders and tips…
Take these seriously.
Implement them IMMEDIATELY.
One of my favorite things to do is speak aloud in the car. Do it while you shave, sing these their praises in the shower…whatever it takes. Just DON’T GIVE UP! Don’t decide you have an unhappy fate so well before your time.
Let me help by adding a little to each…
1. “I AM amazing. I contribute positively in many ways.”
2. “I CAN do ANYthing I put my mind to. And…*I just DID!”
3. “Positivity is a choice. Happiness is an inside job and I’m in the driver’s seat.”
4. “I celebrate my individuality. I am beautiful inside and out, no matter my flaws. We ALL have flaws, and that’s OKAY.”
5. “I am prepared to succeed. I allow the possibility of me succeeding and having all the wonderful fortune I hope for.”
*The next step is the “AS IF”…and I will get to that shortly… The “AS IF” spin will literally change your life. If you don’t believe in magic already, you will…
It may take a great leap of faith when all lights seem to have extinguished, but the stars are ever conspiring in your favor, way up there in the dark. . .
Sometimes you just need to find a little hope deep inside, and to trust the timing of the Universe.
Miracles happen all the time, just like an infinite, glittering snow storm once upon a March. . . Or perhaps a prosperous, full-of-good-fortune moon (which you will see when you look up tonight).
I remember surrendering to possibility, amidst a time of great uncertainty. And, just like that, my wildest dreams were surpassed.
Quitting is actually one of the easier options…and there’s no question we’ve all been on the verge at times. Maybe it’s at school, maybe it’s in our sport, maybe it’s the work we do every day. . . The struggle is a real one, and it can consume every aspect of our being.
But if we push through – insurmountable that may seem at times – often we find a miracle at the end of the tunnel. . . Not only a light, but a full-on, now-I-know-why-I-had-to-experience-that miracle.
Magic is as much a part of life as breathing air is to all living things – it is within our grasp, and within our own power to manifest it.
Don’t lose hope, even on the darkest day, because…much as the sun rises each day…a miracle is ready to unfold. . .
This is so…SO…much easier said than done. But it is – no exaggeration – a key to healthy living.
Me? I’m still working on this nearly 40 years in!
The “could”s and “should”s we impose on ourselves are incredibly damaging, and often the source of a great deal of stress. The other day someone said to me “if only…” and recited a beautiful and perfect scenario (pitted, by the way, against a reality that didn’t turn out exactly that way.)
But my response wasn’t to agree – instead I said, “I believe I am where I am meant to be and that things have happened in this way, with this timing, for a very specific reason. Often in the moment I wonder only to find out down the road that everything fell perfectly into place at the ‘right’ time. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
I guess that means I’m leaning on a whole lot of faith, the belief that magic and miracles exist, and that the Universe does deliver. Now that may feel a lot more “unrealistic” to the naysayer, and definitely to those who land themselves with the “realists.”
No problem! You’re entitled to that view but I – having seen the supernal realm divine a few spells that altered the course of my own life (in very happy ways) – am going to keep airing on the positive side. I also ascribe to the idea that I will attract what I put out – as the kind of person I am, I need to watch this on a regular basis, and shield myself as much as I can from the negative “stuff” floating in the ether.
My skating coach gave me a card when I was just a teenager and it had a picture of someone watching puzzle pieces float down from the sky. . . When he stepped back, he realized he was standing on a vast puzzle beneath him, and everything was fitting perfectly. The card read, “sooner or later, everything falls into place,” and I never forgot it.