Fear of failure is common amongst us all… It is a painfully debilitating attitude which not only keeps us from learning, but potentially also from something we may truly love.
To impose such binding limitations without offering our minds, bodies, and souls the opportunity to experience and grow with life is an injustice beyond reason. There is never a rational explanation, nor any excuse – we must, in the face of fear, step forward, lest our lives slip from our fingers while we watch.
What a world it would be if all could imbibe their thirst with such a draught. . .
Fake it until you make it, as they say. . .
You may not be ready – literally, or in your own mind – to give that monstrous presentation to the CEO.
You may not be ready – literally or. . .in your own mind! – to compete in the next category up in your sport.
You may not be ready to take the next step, whatever it may be. . .
Or, frankly, to face yourself head on, once and for all. . .
But. . .
You can pretend to be brave enough to get by.
Most things in life move fast – ever notice how you say “oh my god, is it APRIL already?! How did the year get here so quickly!?!” It isn’t going to slow down anytime soon. If you worry about not being ready, opportunities will (not maybe) pass you by.
It’s a lot like putting on a “happy face” even when you don’t feel like it – that physiologic action pulls a mind-over-matter type about-face by relaying to your brain that things aren’t so bad after all. The act of smiling in and of itself creates a chain reaction (thank you neural messaging!) that helps lift your mood – when things are severe, any uplift can make a huge difference.
Pretending to be brave may not have the same scientific explanation exactly, but it can bring about a wave of confidence you didn’t know you had. If, in the moment, you are still struggling, remind yourself that being thrown to the wolves, and being UNprepared WILL teach you. A LOT. You will learn from the experience – what to not to do, what to do better, and most importantly, what you did that really worked. Down the road you won’t have to put on the “I’m a shark” face (or…er…fin!) because you will have already proven to yourself you have the wherewithal to kick ass.
What I love about Doug is that he has a sense of overwhelming positivity – he manages to infuse so much of his content with the passion to learn, to grow, to challenge oneself…and to look for what’s good (in our training, in life…everywhere.) Even when having to present flaws in someone’s design on the aforementioned show, he finds a way to frame the criticism so the contestant learns, but doesn’t feel totally horrendous about their work. I’ve found that approach with coaches to make ALL the difference in Martial Arts (frankly, in school or work just as much.)
I really enjoyed this “Morning Coffee” post today (today is St. Patty’s, March 17th, but I may schedule this for later! That’s the date if you want check it out, though!)
Life is definitely NOT peaches and cream all the time – it can get rough and tumble, and there are days where you feel like not only losing it, but throwing in the towel altogether. DON’T LOSE HEART.
I’ve learned a little bit about how painful experiences can be stored in the body, how the brain can then tell your physiology that it’s being directly assaulted, and why that “feeling” registers as “this is going to last forever.” Which, despite the very real visceral reactions, it isn’t.
People say “time heals” – when you are in the throes of the difficulty (whatever that may be – illness, work, relationship etc…) that’s often the last thing you want to hear.
BUT…to Doug’s point, making an effort to see the best in everything CAN make a marked difference. What isn’t mentioned here is the science behind what the brain does in response to the change in attitude and perspective – it’s pretty remarkable and, in its own way, real life “magic.”
Challenge yourself to change your attitude about what’s dragging you down – even if the problem is still there, and might be for some time, the “seeing the good” approach will give YOU – your mind AND body – a break from the (again, very real) effects of doldrums city.
LOVED Doug’s post and hope it brings a little positivity to YOUR day too!