Let Go Of *Should

“Should” is dangerous.  It looks perfectly benign, and wasn’t exactly something I grew up thinking deeply about – it’s just a word after all.  Right?

“Should,” however, can quickly turn into trouble when we apply it to our situation, for example.  “I should have more money by now,” “I should have reacted differently,” I shouldn’t have studied ____ in school…now it’s too late,” or “I should have listened to so-and-so.”

Life is a journey – we are all presented with circumstances, joys, challenges, and opportunities as they are meant for us. . . I sincerely believe we are precisely where we need to be.

If we had more money, maybe it would be at the expense of our own self-worth, or our family’s happiness.  If we reacted differently to a stimulus, perhaps that resultant, and positive opportunity, would not have been made available. If we didn’t study what we had, perhaps we’d not have come to the realization that we are best suited for another area.  If we listened to so-and-so, maybe we wouldn’t have made the mistake that finally put us on a path to recovery…

There are so many “what-if”s and if we play too much with them in our minds, we neglect all the blessings we have in front of us.  To say should” imposes on reality the idea that we are not where we should be… And yet there are so many circumstances where we find our lives falling right into place, rather miraculously.

When we use “should” with respect to ourselves, it can become much more than a word – when we say things like “I should have known better,” or “I shouldn’t be ________” we are adding a layer of self-judgement to the mix.  It becomes less about a word, and more about an attitude – and when we use words with respect to ourselves, we begin to believe them….

None of us are perfect. . .and that’s okay. There is no “right way” to be, neither a flawless mold to which to adhere.

Each of us is on a unique path, and we are – even when it seems otherwise – right we are meant to be.  When we view our world from this lens, we bring the present back into focus, diminishing the anxieties, worries, self-imposed judgments and falsities that the brain likes to dwell on when we revisit our past…or project into the future.

Including “should” in our conversations with ourselves begins to erode our self-confidence – it can do so not only unbeknownst to us, but at a frighteningly rapid pace.  To let go of the notion allows our inner dialogues to remain healthy, and as we are a reflection of the divine around us (whatever that means to you) those words we speak about ourselves matter.

Our lives are like flowers whose petals must unfold as they – and Nature – are ready. To rush them is to destroy the life itself, whether directly or on a more, shall we say, spiritual level.  

Allow yourself the room to BE without the confines of “should” – even when life feels askew, remember that the last time it felt that way, the cycle came whirling back around to everything-is-okay.  

And…it will be. ❤

Perspective and Focus

I believe this, and then some.  Where our focus goes is what we see most. . . 

It’s OKAY to have a bad day.  It’s OKAY to have goals and want more for yourself.  It’s flat-out OKAY to just be “human.”

But don’t forget the blessings right under your nose. Recognizing and appreciating what we do have isn’t a goodie-two-shoes approach – it’s one that will prevent difficulties from derailing you completely.  

Life is fleeting, and therefore so very precious.  Perspective keeps the focus on the good, and when we “vibrate” – in every way – on that level, more of it comes our way. Magic, indeed…

Noble Intentions Vs. Execution

1,000%.

It’s great to have noble intentions, just as it’s commendable to have goals, hopes, and dreams.  But those things do not come to fruition without hard work – blood, sweat, tears…down-in-the-trenches rigor and execution. Period.  To expect things to manifest on their own, without a little “backup” from you, is a quick route to disappointment (“dreams don’t work unless you do” sound familiar?)

Intentions are powerful, make no mistake, but the magic happens when we apply effort to them – without such action, they cannot (and *will not*) be “taken seriously” in the empyrean sphere.  So says the Universe…

 

 

Imperfection

I sincerely, and truly believe this. . .

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“Perfection” feels so boring-Ken-and-Barbie-doll.  It’s a plastic word, and sadly one many of us strive for – to our detriment – with ferocity.  

But it’s the IMperfections that add the layers of depth to an otherwise mundane surface. . .and mundane just won’t do.  It is – without question – a matter of how we perceive our surroundings and reality, NOT the surroundings and reality themselves.

We get to choose how we see.  We get to choose the light in which we cast our experiences.  We get to choose “positive,” if we want it.

How beautiful is that?

Doug Marcaida – Morning Coffee and Making The Best

I started following Doug Marcaida’s page a little while ago (when, through my husband, I discovered the awesomeness that is Forged In Fire – my kind of “reality” tv! 😉 )

What I love about Doug is that he has a sense of overwhelming positivity – he manages to infuse so much of his content with the passion to learn, to grow, to challenge oneself…and to look for what’s good (in our training, in life…everywhere.) Even when having to present flaws in someone’s design on the aforementioned show, he finds a way to frame the criticism so the contestant learns, but doesn’t feel totally horrendous about their work.  I’ve found that approach with coaches to make ALL the difference in Martial Arts (frankly, in school or work just as much.)

I really enjoyed this “Morning Coffee” post today (today is St. Patty’s, March 17th, but I may schedule this for later!  That’s the date if you want check it out, though!)

Life is definitely NOT peaches and cream all the time – it can get rough and tumble, and there are days where you feel like not only losing it, but throwing in the towel altogether. DON’T LOSE HEART.

I’ve learned a little bit about how painful experiences can be stored in the body, how the brain can then tell your physiology that it’s being directly assaulted, and why that “feeling” registers as “this is going to last forever.”  Which, despite the very real visceral reactions, it isn’t.

People say “time heals” – when you are in the throes of the difficulty (whatever that may be – illness, work, relationship etc…) that’s often the last thing you want to hear. 

BUT…to Doug’s point, making an effort to see the best in everything CAN make a marked difference.  What isn’t mentioned here is the science behind what the brain does in response to the change in attitude and perspective – it’s pretty remarkable and, in its own way, real life “magic.”

Challenge yourself to change your attitude about what’s dragging you down – even if the problem is still there, and might be for some time, the “seeing the good” approach will give YOU – your mind AND body – a break from the (again, very real) effects of doldrums city.

LOVED Doug’s post and hope it brings a little positivity to YOUR day too!

 

Magical Food For Thought

So many wonderful, wise gems in the seemingly outlandish Alice In Wonderland!  

There is quite a lot of truth to this, and to so many sneaky little points in a story presented (merely on the colorful surface, of course) as impossible. . . 

Naysayers abound, and yet the search for (and indulgence in) magical elixirs seems as feverish as ever.  In fact, I dare say it takes on more and more urgency by the generation. . . . . 

No.  I’m afraid while magic of a sort most certainly exists. . .good old fashion work must be put in.  Even – as a start – with one’s intentions!

Commit Your Mind

Until a person invests themselves fully – with a commitment not only in heart and spirit, but also in the mind – his goal will remain just beyond reach. If the mindset isn’t on board, it will be a long, and generally endless road. One cannot expect change when the mind is in opposition.

Along those lines, understand that no one ELSE is going to change unless they want it for themselves.  

That’s the secret.  That‘s the magic. When the mind believes and is committed, the change will occur. . .but never before that. The Universe knows when you are half-assing your beliefs and / or effort. 

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The great news?  If you DO want it…whatever it is…you can have it.  You can create and choose how your story will end.