When The Day Is Done, Let It Go. . .And Let Magic Do Its Thing

This is so…SO…much easier said than done.  But it is – no exaggeration – a key to healthy living.

Me? I’m still working on this nearly 40 years in!

The “could”s and “should”s we impose on ourselves are incredibly damaging, and often the source of a great deal of stress. The other day someone said to me “if only…” and recited a beautiful and perfect scenario (pitted, by the way, against a reality that didn’t turn out exactly that way.)

But my response wasn’t to agree – instead I said, I believe I am where I am meant to be and that things have happened in this way, with this timing, for a very specific reason. Often in the moment I wonder only to find out down the road that everything fell perfectly into place at the ‘right’ time. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

I guess that means I’m leaning on a whole lot of faith, the belief that magic and miracles exist, and that the Universe does deliver. Now that may feel a lot more “unrealistic” to the naysayer, and definitely to those who land themselves with the “realists.”

No problem! You’re entitled to that view but I – having seen the supernal realm divine a few spells that altered the course of my own life (in very happy ways) – am going to keep airing on the positive side. I also ascribe to the idea that I will attract what I put out – as the kind of person I am, I need to watch this on a regular basis, and shield myself as much as I can from the negative “stuff” floating in the ether. 

My skating coach gave me a card when I was just a teenager and it had a picture of someone watching puzzle pieces float down from the sky. . . When he stepped back, he realized he was standing on a vast puzzle beneath him, and everything was fitting perfectly. The card read, “sooner or later, everything falls into place,” and I never forgot it. 

I trust in the timing of the Universe because is hope is always an option. The sun rises without fail, whether we see it or we don’t. I therefore believe even in what I cannot see. . .and when you get down to it, that’s where the magic begins. . . 

Let Go Of *Should

“Should” is dangerous.  It looks perfectly benign, and wasn’t exactly something I grew up thinking deeply about – it’s just a word after all.  Right?

“Should,” however, can quickly turn into trouble when we apply it to our situation, for example.  “I should have more money by now,” “I should have reacted differently,” I shouldn’t have studied ____ in school…now it’s too late,” or “I should have listened to so-and-so.”

Life is a journey – we are all presented with circumstances, joys, challenges, and opportunities as they are meant for us. . . I sincerely believe we are precisely where we need to be.

If we had more money, maybe it would be at the expense of our own self-worth, or our family’s happiness.  If we reacted differently to a stimulus, perhaps that resultant, and positive opportunity, would not have been made available. If we didn’t study what we had, perhaps we’d not have come to the realization that we are best suited for another area.  If we listened to so-and-so, maybe we wouldn’t have made the mistake that finally put us on a path to recovery…

There are so many “what-if”s and if we play too much with them in our minds, we neglect all the blessings we have in front of us.  To say should” imposes on reality the idea that we are not where we should be… And yet there are so many circumstances where we find our lives falling right into place, rather miraculously.

When we use “should” with respect to ourselves, it can become much more than a word – when we say things like “I should have known better,” or “I shouldn’t be ________” we are adding a layer of self-judgement to the mix.  It becomes less about a word, and more about an attitude – and when we use words with respect to ourselves, we begin to believe them….

None of us are perfect. . .and that’s okay. There is no “right way” to be, neither a flawless mold to which to adhere.

Each of us is on a unique path, and we are – even when it seems otherwise – right we are meant to be.  When we view our world from this lens, we bring the present back into focus, diminishing the anxieties, worries, self-imposed judgments and falsities that the brain likes to dwell on when we revisit our past…or project into the future.

Including “should” in our conversations with ourselves begins to erode our self-confidence – it can do so not only unbeknownst to us, but at a frighteningly rapid pace.  To let go of the notion allows our inner dialogues to remain healthy, and as we are a reflection of the divine around us (whatever that means to you) those words we speak about ourselves matter.

Our lives are like flowers whose petals must unfold as they – and Nature – are ready. To rush them is to destroy the life itself, whether directly or on a more, shall we say, spiritual level.  

Allow yourself the room to BE without the confines of “should” – even when life feels askew, remember that the last time it felt that way, the cycle came whirling back around to everything-is-okay.  

And…it will be. ❤

(A Few Of) Life’s Helpful Hints

 

  1. Failure is NEVER the end.  In fact, without failure, we might very well miss out on what we are meant to do and meant to learn.  Embrace mistakes and endings, and recognize them as the begging of something great.
  2. Things don’t change just because you want them to / say they will.  If you want change, you must take action – life isn’t going to drop what we need at our feet most of the time.  We have to work hard, set intentions, and put actions into play.  Period
  3. ALWAYS go above and beyond. Promise what you will, and over deliver on those promises.  Your name is on your work, so give a shit and make it count.
  4. Teach others (without being condescending.)  Your knowledge and experiences are valuable, not only to you, but to others who will come after.  Sharing the wealth in this way benefits everyone.
  5. Question before jumping to conclusions.  As human beings, we all often fall into the ass-of-you-and-me trap.  It’s important to step back and recognize that what we *think* may be the case, may be the farthest thing from.  What someone SAYS is gospel, may be in fact be a figment of another’s imagination (or poor googling!) 
  6. Make peace with your past. Tough one, for sure!  Do what you can to make peace with your past, and those in it – this might mean ongoing help to overcome the habits the past has instilled within you, and that’s okay.  Just make sure you work on it – no one deserves to be confined to past challenges.  There is hope, and there’s always room to break free!
  7. Turn. Your. Brain. OFF! Some of us overthink (which can be disastrous –> irrational brain on overdrive!) and some of us conceptualize (read: think about ways to do this or that, but never take the plunge and ACT. As with #2, you have to DO in order to initiate change – things aren’t going to materialize for you while you sit and ponder!)
  8. NEVER, EVER compare yourself to others. PERIOD. If you can’t help yourself, compare you to you yesterday – that is the only person you need to concern yourself with.  You may see good, bad, or ugly in others…and you can rest assured that the flip side of any of those also exists (you just aren’t privy.)  The point being, you have no idea what another’s true reality is, so don’t’ make yourself crazy trying to pit yourself and your circumstances against it.  

Karma

One of my favorites. . .

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No need to meddle, or to get overly worked up (which I admittedly do on occasion, until I remind myself of this lovely little (BIG) detail. . .)  

The Universe always seems to find a way to deliver a well-deserved comeuppance one way or another.  ALWAYS.

So take a deep breath, let go, and let Karma do its thing. 

Ahhh. . .

MAGIC.

Be…

Wavering in truth not only gives reason for others to distrust you, but a shadow of doubt within your own mind – one falsehood is one too many.  Maintaining honesty in all your endeavors is to live with integrity.  

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Air on the side of kindness.  Because we cannot know another person’s battles – even when it feels hard to do – take a deep breath, and find some compassion.  Even a little will do.  If that is not available, let go completely – better to move on than to allow someone to bring you down.  Life is challenging enough than to allow a small thing to derail your happiness and peace of mind…for any amount of time.

Be courageous, because no-thing is impossible.  There will be whisperings of discouragement, but forge ahead, and follow your passion – for in so doing, you follow your truth.  You can achieve anything you set your mind to.  ANYthing.

Best V-Day Ever

Let me be clear – I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, and haven’t since I was a little girl making Valentines for my classmates! Why?  I personally disapprove of the notion that other people (let’s be frank, our significant others!) are pressured with an obligation to “do something nice” for us on this specific day of the year.  

To me, the beauty of love is that you appreciate one another EVERY day – it doesn’t matter whether you show your gratitude with a little note or card, doing something to make your husband / wife / boyfriend’s etc day a little bit easier, or just saying “I love and appreciate you.”  The point is that you don’t NEED a designated day to show you care, nor to spoil or shower your lover with affection and appreciation.  

Now that said, if you do celebrate, more power to you and your other half!  There is certainly nothing wrong with enjoying it if you do!

Sunday happened to be a perfect day, though – spending time with my man is always a great day anyway, but we got to indulge in an activity he is incredibly gifted with / passionate about, and one I am eager to learn and also enjoy – target shooting.  

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I LOVE that he has passions and I want always to encourage that he takes time out to enjoy whatever those activities are – supporting each other in what brings personal joy is so important.  I view being able to do that activity WITH him as a gift...and I wouldn’t have wanted to do anything else that day.  ❤

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There is so much about it that I enjoyed, and so much about him that I cherish…  

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I am harder on myself than anyone else I’ve ever met in my Life and as a result, I can ruin a perfectly good time (for me and everyone else!) by holding myself to some absurdly high standard…yes, even as a neophyte (which means, it is okay NOT to be perfect, hello!!!)  He is tremendously patient with me, supportive and encouraging – and honestly, that makes all the difference.  

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I have had the habit historically of overthinking and getting in my own way – taking a deep breath, letting go of unreasonable anxiety, and appreciating (not to forget accepting) the instruction helps me stay grounded and in a “fun” mindset.  

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The whole point is that activities, especially together, are supposed to be fun – an opportunity to learn is a blessing anyway you take it, and when you are learning alongside your best friend?  Really doesn’t get better.  So even though I wasn’t totally aware that it was the 14th (and I wasn’t!), it was a memorable day filled with love and my best friend – I couldn’t have asked for more. ❤