Nutrition Humor – PB

There’s something about peanut butter. The jars of the chocolate powdered PB2, Peanut Wonder and Nutzo didn’t stand a chance once they made it to my kitchen cabinets. It was so ridiculous (as in, I was taking in way too many calories and fat to maintain what I had, and completely mindlessly) that I had to seriously – with massively-concerted effort – reevaluate.

If I didn’t restrain myself, I would eat a jar a day easy.  

Horrifying.

It came down to not buying it to begin with because I could NOT be trusted. I wouldn’t purchase a single jar until I:

  1. Learned self control, which meant…
  2. Learned to be TOTALLY honest with myself – it’s a slippery slope when it’s you against you!
  3. Developed the willpower of the Gods 

I may not be actually be able to eat ice cream, so the catchy commercial tune falls flat on me. But peanuts and I get along rather nicely.  

Maybe too nicely.

Maybe it’s better if you just hand yours over. . . 

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Nutrition Humor – Refund!

I’d like to appeal to the “powers that be,” whomsoever you are, that this be instated forthwith.  I, for one, am all in favor in spite of the “yeah, you wish it!”s out there.  Listen, magic happens every day. . .

“Yes, thank you.  I’d like a refund on that milkshake?  It just wasn’t as creamy, malted, or chocolate-y as I (an my stomach) anticipated.  Awesome, thanks!  800 calories for something else! 😀 “

Ice Cream For Goth Girls

Yes, yes…that’s what I said.  Ice Cream for Goth chicks.

If lactose wasn’t so vehemently opposed to my stomach, and ice cream wouldn’t so zealously affix itself to my body, I would be seeking out Little Damage Ice Cream forthwith.

I don’t *totally* get the “unicorn” craze – I can respect the love of iridescence, absolutely, but I feel like this is getting to be a little overboard.  Whatever. . .I’d go crazy for black ice cream regardless, just because…but as it squashing the overwhelming barrage of rainbow swirls left and right, I have to say I’m smiling ear to ear. . .

Goth girl getting back at the illusory and evanescent concept that is the prismatic unicorn?  Maybe. . .  But I think it’s more directed at the onslaught of look-at-pink-and-blue-sparkly-anime-eyed-me’s. 

I’m not a trend follower, though – there it is.  I lean towards the caliginous so despite my personal penchant for glitter, I’d ditch it for black without a second thought.

I mean, black and red ombre?! Holy shit, I’m in heaven!!!

All I can say is these cones, black as night, and the dark-and-dreary hued ice cream is up my alley and beyond.  Had this been more prevalent when I was little, you better believe I’d have had it in place of birthday cake at my parties.  Too bad, five year-olds, you can deal without pink for five minutes.