Heavy Metal Humor

A woman at the skating rink recently said, “Oh, you don’t have to wear your iPod! You’re welcome to put some of your music on – we alternate!” She was utterly joyful and eager to share the sound system…until I said, “oh no, that’s okay. I like heavy metal.”

With a “just kidding” kind of laugh she replied, “you can keep your iPod!”

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Safe Catch

I was so excited to see news of this brand, Safe Catch! ¬†As someone who ingests a lot of protein,¬†but who also doesn’t eat red meat, having healthy non-beef options is important. ¬†Fortunately in the last few years, many companies have gotten away from BPA-lined cans, and / or¬†cans in general. ¬†Buying¬†bags of tuna, salmon and chicken is therefore a lot easier than it used to be…but there’s still concern of heavy metals with the fish.

Enter Safe Catch, a company whose mission it is to provide some peace of mind to consumers worried about mercury – a very legitimate concern, and one we weren’t aware of when I was a kid (devouring tuna salad sandwiches like they were going out of style!)¬†

The Company’s limit is three to ten times stricter than the FDA’s, depending on the variety of fish (wild tuna vs wild albacore tuna.) ¬†

Safe Catch also contain zero additives and fillers, goes through an “artisan (slow cook) process,” and is sustainably sourced. ¬†

Incredibly excited and will be keeping an eye out for these in-store for sure!¬†And no, I wasn’t put up to it… Just sharing the goodness! ūüėȬ†

 

Cardio Motivation

Heavy Metal…, #1.

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And company to cheer me on…#2.

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(Technically, he was sleeping off and on…but it was helpful to have company anyway!)

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More on fit jazz

Halloween Humor – It’s A Lifestyle

I had a laugh when I saw this…not *really* because it’s humorous. ¬†More because. . .it’s true.

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Ever heard Type O Negative’s Black No. 1? ¬†Yep. ¬†Yours truly, whether outwardly evident or not so much. ¬†

Got me pinned, Mr. Steele.

I’m Not A Cheerleader, But If I Were…

This would totally be my jam.

With black and red pompoms?  Hell yes.

INVADE DESTROY REPEAT

It’s a good tune for the gym, 1,000% – spin bike, lifting, sprints, whatever – and it totally has that “pep rally” sound. ¬†You know, for when getting your ass on a treadmill is (and usually will be) the LAST thing you want to do?

Motivate with some metal!

(C) Powerman 5000 Official YouTube

(C) Powerman 5000 Official YouTube

Humor – Black Label and Bubblegum

Bubblegum (sugar-free, of course) happens to be a real saving grace for me.¬†Yes, I know¬†the majority of ingredients are alarmingly unpronounceable. ¬†And I am perfectly well aware that increasing the rate and intensity at which I chew may well land me in TMJ¬†(temporomandibular joint) jail – I’ve induced the condition in the past – vehemently chomping through stress – so no need to preach to me about that!

Bazooka Gum comic

Bazooka Gum comic

Still. . .bubblegum – Bubblemint,¬†to be clear – has prevented me from many an unsavory situation. ¬†Perhaps it is the sweet, non-sugared (though, thanks to fancy-pants, long-winded chemicals) “candied,” pink piquancy¬†that accounts for the of super, ass-kicking power it bestows upon the chewer? ¬†I wish I could have asked Roddy Piper. . .

Roddy Piper from They Live

Roddy Piper from They Live

Let’s take the recent crane crash on the Tappan Zee bridge… How fun was it to get that news, while already driving back home at the WORST time of day?! ¬†

The reroute of traffic (through every neighboring town, city, suburb, what have you) to the GWB (that’s George Washington Bridge, for those fortunate not to know it) caused a massive hazarai. ¬†New Yorkers are naturally aggressive on the road – add to that proclivity the threat. . .er, promise. . .of substantial delays, and you are a minnow maneuvering in a shark tank. ¬†Yikes.

One lady literally drove her car towards¬†mine, only a hair shy of indentation. ¬†Normally I might say a few disgruntled words to myself…but her singing and snide, deliberately obnoxious (feigned, I dare add) “smiley” attitude rubbed me so the wrong way that I thought I was about to get out of the car – Black Label hoodie, four-eyed¬†and all. ¬†It was like a wave of precursory “road rage” that broadsided me. ¬†As a martial artist I always have that voice that kicks in saying “you never know who you are dealing with” in the back of my head. ¬†Well, that angel’s voice¬†took its quick cue, thankfully. . .but it wasn’t until I had some¬†bubblegum that the devil was quelled.

All hail the mighty Bubble(mint)!

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Yes…three, simulated-saccharine pieces and all was okay with the world. ¬†(Alright, my knee was uptight and I wanted out, but it was better.)

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As Waze and Google simultaneously¬†–¬†and resolutely! – labored to find the fastest route (I was on it but one can hope), I took a deep breath, turned up my Octane, and enjoyed the familiar swell of sweetness.¬†

Ahhhh…

Feline / Goth Humor

I’m a Vamp and a Goth at heart – less outwardly so than when I was younger, but no less than I’ve always been. ‚̧¬†

I’d rather wear black than anything else. ¬†I love jewel tones most especially but I just find myself going melanistic all the time! ¬†(All four of my cats ARE melanistic, as it turns out. ¬†Coincidence? ¬†I think not.¬†) ¬†I don’t know if I can attribute it to my witchiness, my gothic bent, or my vampish aesthetic tendencies…but black simply is my go-to.

So of course I saw this silly lil’ meme and had myself a good laugh…¬†

Black Cats

As for this chart here…I’m Old School, Sparkle, and Metal all in one. ¬†How about that?¬†

Pat McGrath Phantom 002

I wrote about Pat McGrath’s first “Gold” Collection a while back. ¬†Well she has come out with the second Collection, Phantom 002…and that too has already sold out. ¬†

At $240, that’s impressive…though it was also produced in a limited 1,200 units.

Per her site: 

“A defiantly decadent 8-piece kit to create underground looks that¬†span the decades. One¬†illegally black liner and a multiuse¬†eye gloss for the ultimate hardcore glamour. Four self-indulgent shades to metallicize your smokey eye. Give black¬†a new life and blitz into the darkness.”

I keep thinking regal birds of paradise – peacock, firebird, golden eagle…

It feels to me like a cross between Studio 54 sequins and heavy metal…!¬†

The kit contains:

  • Gold 002 pigment 0.14 oz
  • Blue 002 pigment 0.14 oz
  • Copper 002 pigment 0.14 oz
  • Fuchsia 002 eye blush 0.14 oz
  • Black 002 eye gloss 0.14 oz
  • Black Caviar gel liner 0.018 oz
  • Blender brush 002
  • Flat brush 002

It’s bold color with smoked edges, so prepare to party…and stun!