Life Is Too Short

I believe it matters where we put our focus and energy…

I work on this daily too, but it’s a nice reminder. The only thing we can control is ourselves, which basically means that the only true changes we can make (or impact) are those that apply specifically to us. Those changes can involve our attitudes, behaviors, reactions, responses, beliefs etc. Though we are powerless to alter all beyond that scope, we do have a choice about what we do with / how we react. There is a great deal of emancipation in that idea, and it reminds us that life is too short to get bogged down with negativity. NONE of us have that much time that it’s worth wasting happiness.

That doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to feel, have a bad day, or need some time to work though inner emotions. The point is that life is fleeting and we do have choices. (Read: The Best Revenge, You’ve Come A Long Way, Happiness And Peace Are Up To You, and Look On The Bright Side.)

I work on these choices regularly because happiness and success are my right and wholly up to me. There are some things I, too, need to let go of. Frankly I’m ready to – it’s nice to cut the chains (which we needn’t be beholden to most of the time.) 

Are there things you are holding onto that you want to let go of? Habits, conditioning, behaviors, beliefs? 

If it’s a grudge, this meme might give you a laugh…

It may also – having used humor to diffuse – allow you to move past any you might be harboring. No one deserves to subtract your time, energy, or happiness if they aren’t contributing positively. Give a smile, a nod, a thumbs up…and just move along. Remember that we live with ourselves, they live with themselves…  No one has to be best of friends if they aren’t suited, but we also don’t have to carry the weight of negativity around. Unload the bricks and imagine the person against whom you have a grudge as in the snapshot above – a fleeting moment in time that will meet an end, and you took the higher road while it lasted.

Magnify The Strengths

I have the great fortune to work with many individuals with disabilities, and to learn alongside their families and those in special education. I have always lived my life believing that kindness is not only valuable…but crucial. I believe that when we have something nice to say, or we recognize something beautiful in another person, that we should speak up.

Working in this community has extended the importance of this even further. There is nothing more wonderful than seeing the face of a child when they suddenly believe in themselves. When we share a kind word and focus on their strengths (often in spite of great adversity) we have the power to illuminate their world. I take that responsibility very seriously, and frankly…I feel it is an honor to be in such a position. As all human beings, they already know where they struggle…they don’t need to be reminded of where they fall short, but rather to see all the things they do well.

No matter who you are, no matter who someone else is…if you have something kind to say...SAY IT. Don’t hold back because a few supportive words could make all the difference in someone’s day…or in their life. We all remember certain compliments we’ve received over the years, and we remember how those comments made us feel. Share that gift with others that they too may recognize their wonderful contributions to the world.

 

Who’s He!?

My husband and I often laugh about a clip from The Wolf Of Wall Street where one of the characters is trying to get a synopsis of a television show from his wife – much to his displeasure, she begins (rather poorly) explaining, leaving out some pertinent details and classifiers. Check out the video – at 0:50, you’ll see what I mean.)=

I do this all the time! It isn’t at all that I’m not focused, or that I haven’t any clue what’s going on…or that I have the desire to befuddle your mind. My brain simply goes into “understood-you” mode where it omits what IT thinks are obvious details.

*Whispering with a cupped hand to my mouth* To anyone but my Geminian brain, most of those “obvious details” aren’t obvious at all! My thoughts race with such rapidity sometimes that I feel like my cerebrum is an F1 track. Exhausting! 

Interestingly, though, there are occasions when I TRY to slow down and wind up frustrated – at times I am so excited or eager to communicate that I feel like the extra (as in: important / key) points slow me down like drag in a wind tunnel.

I also love communication so much that when I go down one path my brain (chances are) has already made about 50 other (what it thinks are relevant and exciting!) connections… Being the center-o-my-being, it has this funny way of hijacking my vocal chords whereby I being verbalizing a multitude of threads simultaneously. If you’re a Gemini, you’ll follow along nicely. If not, you’ll need to have luck in your corner, or answer to the name Sherlock.

So I came across these posts and started to laugh… 

Also par for the course, I suppose…

Rather a funny image I thought. My poor husband and family! But then, what’s life if you can’t poke fun at yourself?! 😉

 

Things Are…And Aren’t…What They Appear To Be

I posted these photos on Instagram because, as an athlete, I’m often around other people exercising, aiming for fitness or sport goals, or in a sports class. Our goals, our aesthetics, our abilities, and our priorities are all different and I make a HUGE point to remind people that comparison is never a helpful tactic. But when I say that, I don’t just mean comparison to other people – what they have or don’t have, how they look or don’t look. . .  – I also mean that we need to be gentle with ourselves

Our own mirrors, cameras, eyeballs (!). . .can tell very different stories simply based on angle and lighting. Hell, time of DAY can make a difference too – did you just have a huge glass of water? Have you eaten three meals already? Are you a woman dealing with cyclical change?

Sometimes people say very kind things, but they say them in a way as if to put themselves down… That makes me crazy. We all have room for improvement, but we also all have a lot to be proud of. When we see images of people in “perfect” shape it’s easy to be hard on ourselves – because I’ve grown up in sports (which I consider a great thing!) I also have the side effect of always wanting to achieve. To – absolutely – my own detriment sometimes!

What we ourselves (a highly visual species) post on social media generally portrays the happy, the fun, the good, the ideal “stuff”…but not as much the rough patches, the blemishes, the mistakes. As with everything, we all have our own reasons for that…and tons OF them. For some of us, we look to one another for inspiration and motivation. We also like to share funny and personal tidbits along the way – we are connected to friends, after all. But it’s important not to forget the human element, and that there is more to what we see.

Lately, I’ve gone easier – I was down and out with a cold, I’ve been struggling with a back problem…it’s just been harder to push myself to the limit. BUT…I’m doing okay. I’m healthy and have a LOT to be thankful for (I’m serious, I could write a monster gratitude list off the cuff.)

Being off my game doesn’t mean I’m suddenly a horrible person or I’m not still doing a good job! I make little jabs at myself (NOT nice and NOT a good habit, ps – I work on that every day) but I’m never going back to depriving myself. Fortunately when I was doing that, I didn’t think I looked well at all, and it was not the result of wanting to change my figure. Still, that unhealthy propensity is there and it takes daily reminders sometimes that my own EYES can deceive me…just like yours and everyone else’s can. 

Social media definitely doesn’t help that case so I think showing that appearances are easy to alter is a positive thing. It’s okay to post the good and happy and pulled-together…but just don’t forget that everyone has imperfections. Lighting and angles also play a big part – both for good and for not-so-good. We aren’t getting professionally airbrushed like celebrities in Vogue (well, maybe some are!) but there’s still room for focal shifts!

 

 

Perspective and Focus

I believe this, and then some.  Where our focus goes is what we see most. . . 

It’s OKAY to have a bad day.  It’s OKAY to have goals and want more for yourself.  It’s flat-out OKAY to just be “human.”

But don’t forget the blessings right under your nose. Recognizing and appreciating what we do have isn’t a goodie-two-shoes approach – it’s one that will prevent difficulties from derailing you completely.  

Life is fleeting, and therefore so very precious.  Perspective keeps the focus on the good, and when we “vibrate” – in every way – on that level, more of it comes our way. Magic, indeed…

Train The Way You (Want To) Fight

Training the way you want to fight isn’t always so easy. . .but in a way, isn’t that supposed to be the point? That we train in order to potentially defend ourselves?

The tough reality is that what your muscles remember under duress – which is going to be what you have painstakingly programmed them to do in class, lessons, practice – is what matters.  If you train to hand the gun back to the perpetrator – even with mindfulness and the knowledge that you *shouldn’t* – it may happen in real life.  Terrifying it may be, I’ve actually heard of cases in which just that has occurred… Scary.

The other day in class, our Sensei decided to do a drill combining old school (as in centuries-old Ninpo) traditional movements with a modern-day scenario and vibe.  We had to disable our opponent with a distraction or strike, get away (using those traditional techniques), get to and behind cover, and then “draw” our weapon. The drill was one of the most fun I think I’ve ever done…but I was also so incredibly excited to have another opportunity to flesh out a possible, modern situation. No matter how old movements, or kata, or patterns may be, there are gems within them that can be adapted for, and applied to the times.

I don’t carry, for one thing…so I’m not likely to have a firearm at the ready.  But the idea was what was most important here, and learning to do all of those things – without the stress – was hugely valuable.  What makes it stick? Repetition!  Memory needs to be formed so that when we ARE stressed, we can still perform those functions. Just one day of that particular drill isn’t necessarily going to help me out if something really goes down.  But…the principles and techniques ARE ones we use every day…

We learn to strike, distract, disable…that’s number 1. 

We learn how to efficiently get away, and to not injure our bodies (or injure as little as possible!) as we attempt to do so.

We learn to asses for cover and get behind it if that’s what the situation requires (versus getting away.) 

In practicing those things, our muscles learn on such a level that we work on “autopilot” after a point.  And that’s what you want!

The difficulty in this particular environment is that we don’t have real firearms, and we aren’t truly hurting our “attacker.”  On a range, in a special type of training, an individual who DOES carry can certainly practice his or her ability to draw, aim, shoot, and make the weapon safe – frankly I think anyone in a job in which carrying a pistol is required SHOULD be doing that anyway! 

For us at the dojo, we are working on handling whatever is coming at us as quickly and smartly as possible – but again, there are some strikes we simply cannot do.  In Ninpo, strikes can be highly unorthodox and nasty – breaking fingers, ripping ears, gouging eyes…it goes on.  It’s tough knowing we aren’t going 100% in this case, but we can’t exactly…  So we have to keep in mind that in real life, were our safety on the line, we can’t play the but-he’s-a-nice-“uke” (opponent / attacker) game. It’s a challenge, honestly – how do we bridge the gap, then?  I’m not sure you really CAN because none of us are out to break another classmate’s limb!

This is – for me – where the repetition comes in.  Learning to master even basic movement can take a lifetime, forget years! But in the daily (or as many days as can be managed!) practice helps solidify as many of the effective ways in which to handle a particular threat.  There are – keep in mind – an infinite number of movements available to us, and if we could study every Art and master it in a lifetime, we’d be golden.  Not the reality, sad to say!  Learning to even do a handful of “go-to”s is great – learn to do them properly, to do them well, and to do them with all shapes and sizes (some techniques are really tough with a HUGE partner!)  If you want a real challenge, do them blindfolded.

It’s a very “wax on, wax off” concept – the drills help our bodies to do these things as involuntarily as possible so, should the need arise, we actually CAN do something about it. We don’t always have the luxury of training exactly how we fight – this isn’t the Colosseum, after all – but we *can* do everything in our power to focus, to drill, and to get our muscles so familiar with the movements that they will come to our aid when we need them most.

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