Happy and Safe (Driving!) T-Day

Whether you celebrate or not, Thanksgiving remains one of the largest travel days out there. We’ve decided to stay put – for a multitude of reasons, traffic notwithstanding, but if you are going to travel…please be safe.

It amazes me – I might actually say *frightens* – how many people don’t recognize the responsibility of operating a vehicle. On heavily traffic weekends especially, accidents are way, WAY too common…

A long road trip may be a fun time, especially when you have company you love, and some good tunes. But. . .

But…driving safely (not tired, not intoxicated, not distracted, not angry etc) is not only for you…but for whomever is with you, and whoever else is out on the road. It isn’t just about us alone – we are driving machines capable of more than getting us to point A and B if we aren’t paying attention. 

I know it feels like a damper but. . .if you’re headed somewhere during the holidays (frankly when we are headed anywhere)  just be extra mindful so you and your loved ones stay safe. 

 

 

Humor – On A Cruise To Nowhere

I don’t drive recklessly, let me make that clear from the outset (because I don’t agree with reckless driving!)

While I do have a lead foot and love going fast…I DON’T, actually.  I don’t have any interest in being stopped and slammed with a  monster ticket, nor do I want to endanger myself or anyone else.  I DO have a courtesy card, compliments of a best buddy Lieutenant, but I don’t like to pull it out because I feel like “that guy” if I do.  Let me also point out that I have a red car.

That said, I’m positively guilty of mumbling under my breath when someone is in the left lane who really shouldn’t be – generally speaking I have somewhere to be (hence being in the car and driving to begin with.  Seems like common sense, right?)

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I find it incredibly frustrating because really…it’s no one’s right to manage anyone else’s speed (UNLESS you are in the car with that person – then you absolutely do have a right to speak up.  It’s never about breaking the speed of light, last I checked.  At least not on a main road (vs. dragstrip, for example!))    

If you are in the left lane, presumably you are passing, or just cruising along.  You aren’t on-the-button with the speed limit, and you definitely aren’t under.  Or…maybe I should say…”shouldn’t be.”  It’s a given that if you are over to the left you are – indeed – maintaining a speed generally higher than the limit…by more than 2 miles over, by the way.

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I can’t STAND mediocrity generally…but when I’m driving, I’m okay in the middle lane most of the time.  At least that way I’m not having to flash my lights at the slow poke in front, and I’m not having to speed beyond what I’m comfortable doing.  The left and exit lanes are always there when I need them (and it would be awfully nice if other people got the gist of what they are for too.  Wishful thinking?  Maybe.  But a girl (in a red car!) can dream.)

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Humor – Black Label and Bubblegum

Bubblegum (sugar-free, of course) happens to be a real saving grace for me. Yes, I know the majority of ingredients are alarmingly unpronounceable.  And I am perfectly well aware that increasing the rate and intensity at which I chew may well land me in TMJ (temporomandibular joint) jail – I’ve induced the condition in the past – vehemently chomping through stress – so no need to preach to me about that!

Bazooka Gum comic

Bazooka Gum comic

Still. . .bubblegum – Bubblemint, to be clear – has prevented me from many an unsavory situation.  Perhaps it is the sweet, non-sugared (though, thanks to fancy-pants, long-winded chemicals) “candied,” pink piquancy that accounts for the of super, ass-kicking power it bestows upon the chewer?  I wish I could have asked Roddy Piper. . .

Roddy Piper from They Live

Roddy Piper from They Live

Let’s take the recent crane crash on the Tappan Zee bridge… How fun was it to get that news, while already driving back home at the WORST time of day?!  

The reroute of traffic (through every neighboring town, city, suburb, what have you) to the GWB (that’s George Washington Bridge, for those fortunate not to know it) caused a massive hazarai.  New Yorkers are naturally aggressive on the road – add to that proclivity the threat. . .er, promise. . .of substantial delays, and you are a minnow maneuvering in a shark tank.  Yikes.

One lady literally drove her car towards mine, only a hair shy of indentation.  Normally I might say a few disgruntled words to myself…but her singing and snide, deliberately obnoxious (feigned, I dare add) “smiley” attitude rubbed me so the wrong way that I thought I was about to get out of the car – Black Label hoodie, four-eyed and all.  It was like a wave of precursory “road rage” that broadsided me.  As a martial artist I always have that voice that kicks in saying “you never know who you are dealing with” in the back of my head.  Well, that angel’s voice took its quick cue, thankfully. . .but it wasn’t until I had some bubblegum that the devil was quelled.

All hail the mighty Bubble(mint)!

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Yes…three, simulated-saccharine pieces and all was okay with the world.  (Alright, my knee was uptight and I wanted out, but it was better.)

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As Waze and Google simultaneously – and resolutely! – labored to find the fastest route (I was on it but one can hope), I took a deep breath, turned up my Octane, and enjoyed the familiar swell of sweetness. 

Ahhhh…