Well…nailed this one right on the head!
When I was growing up the rooster of “four letter words” included a few more than ones that come to mind as an adult. Things like “hate” and “can’t” were as much a taboo as the commonly know “bad words,” not so much from the harsher or inappropriate sound of them, but the damage they could inherently cause. (And that damage runs deep in the psychological veins, make no mistake!)
My skating coach would correct me immediately if ever I made the grave mistake of uttering the dreaded “can’t” – because it was so drilled into me, I think about it every single time I hear someone say it – even at 37! And I NEVER, ever use it with respect to myself.
I tend to get very frustrated when I am unable to do something – sadly even with activities I am new to (and therefore have no reason to be, nor expectation of being, an expert!) I had a ton of pressure on me growing up, particularly in sports. As a young athlete, I was under the spotlight (literally when it came to dance and figure skating), and because I learned quickly, my bar was raised that much higher.
I’m nigh “unteachable” sometimes, because my frustration gets the better of me – I don’t know if it is fear of failure, embarrassment, disappointment, or a combination of the three, but it CAN be debilitating.
At times like that I have to consciously take a deep breath and LET GO. I have to remind myself that I CAN do anything I put my mind to – if I am new to it, it will take some time and that’s okay. It has nothing whatever to do with can or can’t, but everything to do with letting go and trying – giving myself a chance!
It’s important that we stay mindful of the conversation we have with ourselves. As they say, our self talk is a reflection of the conversation we are holding with the Universe. And…the ever-famous, “whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.”
Give yourself a CHANCE.
Take a deep breath, let go of the fears and embarrassment…or at least TRY. Trying is the first step!
And mind the words you use, and the way you say it… You CAN do anything you put your mind to.
That other variation of the word…the one with “‘t” in it? That doesn’t exist in my vocabulary anymore and I’m definitely the better for it. Losing that word opens up a whole slew of avenues for success, learning and love.