Emphasis On Can

I love this quote from Autism Speaks – there’s nothing more important that encouraging children (your own, or otherwise!) by focusing on their strengths and positives.  

Autism Speaks, Dr. Temple Grandin

The world critiques enough, wearing down the strongest and most brave. . . Therefore at least give children (if not also yourself and your loved ones!), unhindered by the “should,”s “can’t”s, and “bad”s of adult conditioning, the opportunity to meet life with confidence and a smile. 

 

Be Brave

Fake it until you make it, as they say. . .

You may not be ready – literally, or in your own mind – to give that monstrous presentation to the CEO.

You may not be ready – literally or. . .in your own mind! – to compete in the next category up in your sport.

You may not be ready to take the next step, whatever it may be. . .

Or, frankly, to face yourself head on, once and for all. . .

But. . .

You can pretend to be brave enough to get by.  

Most things in life move fast – ever notice how you say “oh my god, is it APRIL already?! How did the year get here so quickly!?!” It isn’t going to slow down anytime soon.  If you worry about not being ready, opportunities will (not maybe) pass you by.  

It’s a lot like putting on a “happy face” even when you don’t feel like it – that physiologic action pulls a mind-over-matter type about-face by relaying to your brain that things aren’t so bad after all. The act of smiling in and of itself creates a chain reaction (thank you neural messaging!) that helps lift your mood – when things are severe, any uplift can make a huge difference.

Pretending to be brave may not have the same scientific explanation exactly, but it can bring about a wave of confidence you didn’t know you had.  If, in the moment, you are still struggling, remind yourself that being thrown to the wolves, and being UNprepared WILL teach you.  A LOT.  You will learn from the experience – what to not to do, what to do better, and most importantly, what you did that really worked.  Down the road you won’t have to put on the “I’m a shark” face (or…er…fin!) because you will have already proven to yourself you have the wherewithal to kick ass. 

 

Instant Confidence Stick

So there were a couple of posts about this out there – I hadn’t really internalized that this could be potentially offensive to some, but it seems that it was.  For some, naming the product “Instant Confidence Stick” was not only not expected from Bobbi Brown (generally known to embrace our natural beauty – aging and otherwise), but also because it suggested that we need a product to give us confidence (focusing primarily on our superficial appearance, as it were.)

I didn’t take anything negative, nor controversial, from it so much – they way it reads to me is that if I am having a day that I feel I look as though I need a pick me up (my personal opinion about myself) then this might offer some help.  It doesn’t suggest to me that I am lacking in some way, no beautiful enough, or that without a product(s), I’m somehow sub-par.  

I understand – and agree – with the notion that we should love ourselves the way we are.  We should – we are fabulous, damnit!  But that doesn’t mean that if we want to pull ourselves together and present a cleaned-up version of ourselves – all the time, or occasionally – that there is anything wrong with that!

Per Bobbi’s UK site (where it is available):

Bobbi’s magic eraser—instantly blurs the look of fine lines and wrinkles for a smoother, more lineless look. The colourless, breathable and ultra-lightweight formula glides on easily and feels weightless, making it comfortable for all-day wear. Use it to prep skin for seamless makeup application, or to touch up and control shine throughout the day.

Infused with a powerful peptide, the formula helps to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles as soon as you apply. A unique triple suspension complex creates an effective yet breathable blurring layer that helps to smooth and perfect skin’s texture. Plus, it works over time to absorb excess oil and control shine.

So it smooths out those pesky lines I sometimes focus too much on (yes, I’m sure they ONLY bother ME.)  AND it helps over time to tame shine…which also sometimes aggravates me.  I rather appreciate that there’s a lil’ easy-to-use stick out there that might assist me in achieving those things since – let’s be honest – I DON’T always wake up flawless.

In my opinion it is totally okay to recruit a little help because it will make me feel a bit better on the days something to perk me up.  And trust me, my confidence hasn’t taken a dive, nor my spirt been wounded, by the name…or the offering.  

IT Cosmetics Skincare

The IT Cosmetics color products are all really amazing – the formulas deliver, the color lasts, and somehow you always look really refreshed after applying… So I’m curious to see how the skincare performs.  

Confidence In A Cream, which you can snag at QVC, is designed to combat signs of aging (fine lines and wrinkles), as well as to improve radiance and hydration.  The one thing I am not particularly fond of is the ghastly=long list of ingredients!  Non-Comedogenic is important to me, as is being able to siphon through the contents of the list quickly…so I’m a bit put off by that aspect.)

The packaging reminds me of Perscriptives…very apothecary prescription-like.  Generally the aim there is to bring to mind a dermatologist’s office, giving the feel of something luxurious that works.

I’m eager to see reviews for this, though I’m not sure I will be purchasing myself.

Stronger Than You Think!

I posted a clip the other day on Facebook with some kicks… I was super touched by the kind words of friends, but noticed that so many people doubt their abilities!  NOOoOoo!  I have friends who well exceed my endurance ability, my Martial Arts ability, my speed, my strength…but that doesn’t mean I can’t hold my own…or, at least, make it look graceful! (Thank you, ballroom, skating and ballet!) 😉  

I made a point to say to each person suggesting he or she COULDN’T do it...that they could do A LOT better than they think!  They weren’t giving themselves enough credit!

The lil’ bag in this clip is way lighter than some of the others we train with.  So in fact it could be a matter of perception…could it not? It might be “too light” for one person, and far “too heavy” for someone else…

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The key to ME is to focus on the GOOD…to HIGHLIGHT THE STRENGTH!  That might mean, for someone struggling, that they try with a less heavy bag.  Later ON, one can try with something more substantial…but when you START, get a bag you can work with.  And Kick it’s butt!!!!  When you knock something down, that confidence shoots UP…and that means you will feel better about that ability you ACTUALLY DO HAVE ALREADY!

I feel upset when I see people being set up for a less-than-successful go at something.  Start SMALLER if you have to – you can accomplish more that way.  You can see your gains far better…and seeing is believing for many people!  It will give the confidence to move up to something heavier…because then there is no question that you can do it.

Building confidence is huge to me.  Seeing results is HUGE.  People need those things – we need that encouragement because it gives us something tangible that says “HOLY #$%@!  I CAN DO IT!!!!”

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You don’t have to change your goals!  Maybe tweak the training…or tweak your client’s training.  Make the goals MANAGEABLE so they can really SEE and FEEL the difference.  

I’d rather see the smiling face of a kid who can move the bag with a kick…than one who, disheartened, tries with all his might to barely dent a bigger one.  It’s all about the perspective.  It isn’t cookie cutter.  I may kick one down but I know guys that would kick it across the room…including my 75 year old Grandmaster!  

Make it manageable.  

Make the goals ACHIEVABLE.  

You CAN do it…and when you can actually SEE and FEEL it, you will be a lot more likely to keep at it…getting better all the time!

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