Humor – Black Label and Bubblegum

Bubblegum (sugar-free, of course) happens to be a real saving grace for me. Yes, I know the majority of ingredients are alarmingly unpronounceable.  And I am perfectly well aware that increasing the rate and intensity at which I chew may well land me in TMJ (temporomandibular joint) jail – I’ve induced the condition in the past – vehemently chomping through stress – so no need to preach to me about that!

Bazooka Gum comic

Bazooka Gum comic

Still. . .bubblegum – Bubblemint, to be clear – has prevented me from many an unsavory situation.  Perhaps it is the sweet, non-sugared (though, thanks to fancy-pants, long-winded chemicals) “candied,” pink piquancy that accounts for the of super, ass-kicking power it bestows upon the chewer?  I wish I could have asked Roddy Piper. . .

Roddy Piper from They Live

Roddy Piper from They Live

Let’s take the recent crane crash on the Tappan Zee bridge… How fun was it to get that news, while already driving back home at the WORST time of day?!  

The reroute of traffic (through every neighboring town, city, suburb, what have you) to the GWB (that’s George Washington Bridge, for those fortunate not to know it) caused a massive hazarai.  New Yorkers are naturally aggressive on the road – add to that proclivity the threat. . .er, promise. . .of substantial delays, and you are a minnow maneuvering in a shark tank.  Yikes.

One lady literally drove her car towards mine, only a hair shy of indentation.  Normally I might say a few disgruntled words to myself…but her singing and snide, deliberately obnoxious (feigned, I dare add) “smiley” attitude rubbed me so the wrong way that I thought I was about to get out of the car – Black Label hoodie, four-eyed and all.  It was like a wave of precursory “road rage” that broadsided me.  As a martial artist I always have that voice that kicks in saying “you never know who you are dealing with” in the back of my head.  Well, that angel’s voice took its quick cue, thankfully. . .but it wasn’t until I had some bubblegum that the devil was quelled.

All hail the mighty Bubble(mint)!

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Yes…three, simulated-saccharine pieces and all was okay with the world.  (Alright, my knee was uptight and I wanted out, but it was better.)

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As Waze and Google simultaneously – and resolutely! – labored to find the fastest route (I was on it but one can hope), I took a deep breath, turned up my Octane, and enjoyed the familiar swell of sweetness. 

Ahhhh…

Fitness Humor – The Cardio Conundrum

To do

Or

Not to do…

I try – really, my damnedest – to find ways NOT to do cardio.  I’m a pro at excuses on the topic, and a pro at fighting with myself (maybe not tooth and nail, but pajamas and gym for sure.)

I tell myself that a caloric deficit is a deficit, who cares how I come by it.  But the reality is. . .cardiovascular activity is super important.  And scarcely reliant upon my preferences!  (Ah, but the world would be such a better place, wouldn’t it!?) I would do well to slow it down a bit, personally – and I have (*gleefully patting myself on the back!*) But. . .I should be doing it.  

The benefits are countless, forget that whole bipedalism situation!  Still, you are not alone if you struggle to get it done.

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I go through waves – some days (and they are more the exception than the rule) I feel great, and ready to sprint like the wind. LETS GOOOoOoo, LEGS!!! But it happens that I’ve been overtraining myself lately (I SO know better!) and there’s a severe DRAG going on…  A lot of the time I wake up and think to myself “welllll, I don’t really HAVE to.  Right? . . . Right?!”

Then I get really irritated because I know damn well that I need to do something. From there I work on my “I just need to do a little bit” strategy – that can offer a little boost every so often.

As for depression, it can rear its ugly head around now, absolutely – “But you HAVE to do it, and you know when you do, you’re going to push yourself.  So really even though you’re saying you’ll do less, it’s going to be horrible!”  (~sarcastic tone, laden with frustration~) THANKS, BRAIN! 

An enormous sigh belongs at this stage, followed by the unhappy ceremony of struggling into a sports bra, donning my shorts, lacing my sneaks, and grabbing A.) my iPod, and B.) some bubblegum.  

Whatever it takes!

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Whoever came up with the meme above?  They hit it on the head – the cycle I go through is very much in that order but – most of the time – I manage to squeeze the cardio in.  I’m not wholly proud of the shorter bouts but right now it is about maintenance and keeping in the habit.  That last part – keeping in the habit?  That’s THE biggest key of all – a little DOES go a long way!

And then there’s The Oatmeal – Matthew, from Seattle, his two dogs…and the hilarity of his brain!  Cardio ISN’T just good for your body, but it’s also incredibly helpful in regulating the rest of you, brain and emotions very much included!

I laughed myself silly over this cartoon – gosh he’s really got it down.

Are my sneakers quite so magical?  Mehhh…

But the feeling of having actually run and kicked some ass – even if only a little?  Yeah…it’s something like panel two. 😉

Rare M.A.C. Code

It is incredibly rare that M.A.C. offers any kind of discount.  Like, ever.  Thanks to Nouveau Cheap for this post, and to @lipstick_lace-bubblegum and @lisptickjunkieforever for sharing with her!

@lipstick_lace_bubblegum for Nouveau Cheap

@lipstick_lace_bubblegum for Nouveau Cheap

I was actually NOT aware that M.A.C. had redone their site – while I do subscribe to newsletters, I feel like I rarely get them.  So, I was happy to see this post all together! 🙂

Additionally, per Nouveau Cheap (again, many thanks for sharing all this!):

Thank you to ALL THREE of you!  Nouveau Cheap, @lipstickjunkieforever, AND @lipstick_lace_bubblegum.  So appreciate you all sharing this rare code!

Thank you to ALL THREE of you! Nouveau Cheap, @lipstickjunkieforever, AND @lipstick_lace_bubblegum. So appreciate you all sharing this rare code!