Emphasis On Can

I love this quote from Autism Speaks – there’s nothing more important that encouraging children (your own, or otherwise!) by focusing on their strengths and positives.  

Autism Speaks, Dr. Temple Grandin

The world critiques enough, wearing down the strongest and most brave. . . Therefore at least give children (if not also yourself and your loved ones!), unhindered by the “should,”s “can’t”s, and “bad”s of adult conditioning, the opportunity to meet life with confidence and a smile. 

 

Be Brave

Fake it until you make it, as they say. . .

You may not be ready – literally, or in your own mind – to give that monstrous presentation to the CEO.

You may not be ready – literally or. . .in your own mind! – to compete in the next category up in your sport.

You may not be ready to take the next step, whatever it may be. . .

Or, frankly, to face yourself head on, once and for all. . .

But. . .

You can pretend to be brave enough to get by.  

Most things in life move fast – ever notice how you say “oh my god, is it APRIL already?! How did the year get here so quickly!?!” It isn’t going to slow down anytime soon.  If you worry about not being ready, opportunities will (not maybe) pass you by.  

It’s a lot like putting on a “happy face” even when you don’t feel like it – that physiologic action pulls a mind-over-matter type about-face by relaying to your brain that things aren’t so bad after all. The act of smiling in and of itself creates a chain reaction (thank you neural messaging!) that helps lift your mood – when things are severe, any uplift can make a huge difference.

Pretending to be brave may not have the same scientific explanation exactly, but it can bring about a wave of confidence you didn’t know you had.  If, in the moment, you are still struggling, remind yourself that being thrown to the wolves, and being UNprepared WILL teach you.  A LOT.  You will learn from the experience – what to not to do, what to do better, and most importantly, what you did that really worked.  Down the road you won’t have to put on the “I’m a shark” face (or…er…fin!) because you will have already proven to yourself you have the wherewithal to kick ass. 

 

“This Armless Woman Can Literally Kick Your Ass” by Sophia Rosenbaum

My heart is brimming over with emotion seeing this story

http://nypost.com and Barcroft photo

http://nypost.com and Barcroft photo

Jessica Cox has accomplished feats too challenging for those withOUT physical disabilities, never mind those that she has had since her birth.  She is – for lack of a stronger word – and absolute inspiration, facing her own fears (of which there are few) with a can-demolish kind of attitude.

http://nypost.com and Barcroft photo

http://nypost.com and Barcroft photo

It never ceases to amaze me that those in my Life (or those I have read about)  with the greatest “disabilities” – a word they generally do NOT use, by the way – manage the brightest smiles, the bravest attitudes, and the most positive outlooks.  I feel honored just to hear about what she has done in the face of an adversity that seems insurmountable.

Amazing, Jessica.  ❤

 

 

Transparently Real

In spite of youth, I always believed in the notion that being true to oneself is vastly more important than fitting in.  I suppose I had more time to sit with the idea in contemplation, having been somewhat on the outskirts of my peer group back then.  I was an athlete, and awkward in some ways… I was incredibly shy in most cases, and my mind was not on the same social things my peers were into – going “out” meant running to the health food store for a bagel and protein in between sessions on the ice!

Maybe it was in my solitude that I recognized how vital it was to stay true to who I was because there was no one to contradict me – regardless of the loneliness I might have felt in being left out of “the scene” the concept of conforming was one I couldn’t get my head around.  I couldn’t pretend or lie had I wanted to – to do so felt ,even in childhood, like a betrayal to my own body and soul (I’m not sure I could have verbalized it back then, but then again Empaths sometimes have alexithymia!)

“To be what I term a ‘quality’ human being one has to be transparently real and have the courage to be what he is.”

 

 

I’d “feel” when other people were trying to mold themselves to match their surroundings.  I’d “feel” the discomfort they harbored, and the uncertainty preempting each action.  It troubled me.

The road to being oneself, unabashedly, is far from an easy one.  There are circumstances in which we must “tone down” or not fully disclose (work environments, for example, or around sensitive friends of friends, simply out of respect or courtesy.)  Humans are social, and society matters – it is how we make our livings, gather those items we need to live…  Our interpersonal relationships are important – we want to build and nourish healthy, happy ones, after all.  But for that reason, we must be ourselves…because one cannot sustain a lasting relationship without the transparency.

How exhausting would it be to live under a false pretense?!  I’ve known people who do, and it breaks my heart to think how much work it is trying to trace steps, remember “events”…forget the tragedy of it (or that it all causes!)  

And what of the realization that others like us for someone we are not?!  

To diverge utterly from who we are is, in my personal opinion, an absolute sin (keep in mind, there is no religious connotation to this word here – simply, I mean it is an injustice to oneself.)

We are all beautiful, deserving of love, and Life, and health.  We all make mistakes, because human beings are flawed and fragile.  I am, not unlike many, terribly hard on myself sometimes – I believe we are our own worst enemies at the end of the day.  I might reflect – which I do daily – about how I might have better handled a situation, or what I *should* have said in another.  But I will not do the injustice of telling myself I need be more “fake” so that I blend in.  Neither should you.

To me, bravery is being able to cry when we need to.  

Courage is to accept help when we need to.  

Strength is to be who we are…because we NEED to.  

To be real in a World of falsity is something to be proud of – it affords us the gift of inspiring others, for one thing.  Bruce Lee certainly did a brilliant job of that…and if anyone was himself unabashedly…

So be YOU.

You’re amazing.

x ❤