Be Ridiculous

Once upon a time I worried about what people thought.  I worried about if they’d like what I was wearing, if I looked silly, or if the things I enjoyed weren’t “cool.”  But it didn’t last particularly long, those worrisome spells, because I simply couldn’t mold myself to fit within the confines that others did.

Boxes didn’t work for me, and I made myself sick – in the short time I tried to care – trying to figure out what I was “supposed to” do, and “supposed to” be.  Based on someone else’s definition, by the way.  I was like a dodecahedron trying to fit into a triangular shape – I had so many facets, I’d make a gemologist spin, and the “mold” simply didn’t work.

I feel like that was fortunate for me, though. . .because I learned to just do my thing and be, unabashedly, my curiously off-beat self. It’s so much easier when you don’t have to squeeze yourself in to other shapes.  It’s SO much easier being authentic than having to remember the details of the “lie” that you pretend to live.

The world doesn’t need more conformists…it needs the beautiful variety that all of us bring to life. It’s not only okay to be you, it’s what you, and everyone else deserves.  If someone takes issue, that’s okay – that’s for them to worry about.

Do your thing, and be ridiculous if you want to.  Even if it means wearing obnoxiously-printed leggings, leg warmers a la 1982, and Thundercat shoes at age 38. 

Happiness is the heart of the beholder. ❤


Humor – The Non-Girly Girl

When I saw this photo (the little girl below), I essentially went into hysterics (laughing, that is.)  I didn’t watch a ton of television as a child but you can be sure that when I did, the shows were of the ilk of:

  • Thundercats (cat-like aliens, because why would extraterrestrials want human reflexes?!)
  • He-Man (muscles and [magical!] swords?!  HELL YES!)
  • Voltron (your goddamn right I was jealous of their lion robots!)
  • Transformers (ginormous robots who can morph into an incredibly rad getaway vehicle? Anyone want to race?!) 
My favorite two colors AND animal? I was a happy little girl when this came on!)

My favorite two colors AND animal? I was a happy little girl when this came on!)

I couldn’t possibly be bothered with the likes of She-Ra.  Initially, I admit, I kind of liked her.  I liked that a woman was in the badass role, but that’s basically because I wanted to be her.  I kind of dug the nod to Ancient Rome / Greece with that ensemble too – how very Pagan of her!  Plus. . .sorceress, hello!?  My older brother was fonder of the guys so…whatever…I took one for the team and decided I could be Conan or some other ass-kicking character, nevermind they were male.  Goals.

I let the figure-skating-judge-boots and furry speedo slide - he had a magical sword and the man could lift. Aspirations!

I let the figure-skating-judge-boots and furry speedo slide – he had a magical sword and the man could lift. Aspirations!

My lean towards general badassery, gothiness, vampishness, and Martial Arts was there from brith – I wore colors, but that’s because I wasn’t old enough to know better…OR to purchase my own.  I went to girly birthday parties, but that’s because A.) it was important to socialize (I’d rather have been Wednesday Addams but the school moms didn’t seem to acquiesce) and B.) No one I knew was having a Halloween bash regardless of timing.  Sad, if you ask me.  

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My, what big teeth you have…

My inspiration came from the people / creatures / robots who could handle their own, even when the world was being besieged by evil, plotting mummies or mechanical demons from space – who cared that they were fictional, this once five-year old saw a fearlessly laying down of the law!  (Let’s not forget their were witches too – bestill my heart.) 

If I could have worn this suit to class, I’m sure I would have – Middle School rules be damned, I think an exception could have been made.  “Excuse me, Mr. Principle guy..??”

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I wonder if the suit comes with functional weapons…  Sparkles?  Yeah, absolutely.  But had I donned this hefty getup back in the day?  I’d have backed that glitz up!

For more of my shenanigans

Be Yourself!

I’ve said it time and time again… I may not be as “outwardly” so as back in my college youth…but…my “gothieness” is still more than evident! 

I’m a Vamp at heart, a lover, and a fighter for what I care most about.  I never fit in, never really wanted to…and am relatively certain I never will.  I don’t care much for molds, though neither is it in utter defiance of authority, nor in effort to gain attention by breaking the rules.  It just IS.  

I just AM.

This particular image, of course, was one I ever and always adored – the Vamp aesthetic was the very one to which I aspired all my years.  Yes, the ghostly pallor, Night-hued locks, ruby lips (not to mention the second-skin black apparel – my daily uniform!)  

While I am scarcely so stand-out, leaning to the sporty side of things these days, it is simply the look which resonates most deeply with me. ❤  It was that way when I was a little girl, and has not wavered an ounce.  

Be Creepy

I will always appreciate and recognize beauty in other forms, but at my core, I am Vamp 1,000%.  Forgive me…or do not...but I shall make no effort to alter my heart in pursuit of some other aesthetic as, in my own mind, our propensities are the spice of Life!  

Proof is in the pudding…

Be Yourself

A friend of mine posted this on FB and I had to share – because it was “so her.”  It was “so me.”  It was so…so many of my friends.  

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We have our flaws.  We aren’t perfect.  We make mistakes.  We don’t fit in.

But we don’t want to.  Not intentionally, not by design – we just never did fit the mold, and (fortunately) never saw the need to. 

Our World is magical because there is beauty in the most unlikely places.  

There is beauty in imperfection.  

There is beauty in the soul that has fought tooth and nail to overcome painful obstacles, and come out on the other side.

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Be YOU, because there are no others who can take your place, or do what you do the way only you can.  

Be YOU because you are beautiful, and strong, and you don’t need validation to fit in.

Be YOU because you can, and because you are beautiful.


Transparently Real

In spite of youth, I always believed in the notion that being true to oneself is vastly more important than fitting in.  I suppose I had more time to sit with the idea in contemplation, having been somewhat on the outskirts of my peer group back then.  I was an athlete, and awkward in some ways… I was incredibly shy in most cases, and my mind was not on the same social things my peers were into – going “out” meant running to the health food store for a bagel and protein in between sessions on the ice!

Maybe it was in my solitude that I recognized how vital it was to stay true to who I was because there was no one to contradict me – regardless of the loneliness I might have felt in being left out of “the scene” the concept of conforming was one I couldn’t get my head around.  I couldn’t pretend or lie had I wanted to – to do so felt ,even in childhood, like a betrayal to my own body and soul (I’m not sure I could have verbalized it back then, but then again Empaths sometimes have alexithymia!)

“To be what I term a ‘quality’ human being one has to be transparently real and have the courage to be what he is.”



I’d “feel” when other people were trying to mold themselves to match their surroundings.  I’d “feel” the discomfort they harbored, and the uncertainty preempting each action.  It troubled me.

The road to being oneself, unabashedly, is far from an easy one.  There are circumstances in which we must “tone down” or not fully disclose (work environments, for example, or around sensitive friends of friends, simply out of respect or courtesy.)  Humans are social, and society matters – it is how we make our livings, gather those items we need to live…  Our interpersonal relationships are important – we want to build and nourish healthy, happy ones, after all.  But for that reason, we must be ourselves…because one cannot sustain a lasting relationship without the transparency.

How exhausting would it be to live under a false pretense?!  I’ve known people who do, and it breaks my heart to think how much work it is trying to trace steps, remember “events”…forget the tragedy of it (or that it all causes!)  

And what of the realization that others like us for someone we are not?!  

To diverge utterly from who we are is, in my personal opinion, an absolute sin (keep in mind, there is no religious connotation to this word here – simply, I mean it is an injustice to oneself.)

We are all beautiful, deserving of love, and Life, and health.  We all make mistakes, because human beings are flawed and fragile.  I am, not unlike many, terribly hard on myself sometimes – I believe we are our own worst enemies at the end of the day.  I might reflect – which I do daily – about how I might have better handled a situation, or what I *should* have said in another.  But I will not do the injustice of telling myself I need be more “fake” so that I blend in.  Neither should you.

To me, bravery is being able to cry when we need to.  

Courage is to accept help when we need to.  

Strength is to be who we are…because we NEED to.  

To be real in a World of falsity is something to be proud of – it affords us the gift of inspiring others, for one thing.  Bruce Lee certainly did a brilliant job of that…and if anyone was himself unabashedly…

So be YOU.

You’re amazing.

x ❤


A quotation for the day…!


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It is so, SO important to be YOU.  There are too many “voices” these days…suggestions about how to be, who to be, what to be.  Your inner flame and inner passions are far more important than conforming to the “popular” view or to the latest look.  Always be WHO you are because the World deserves to know the amazing gifts you, and only you, can offer – no one has a right to impose his or her “right way” upon you.  There are probably so many more things about yourself that you SHOULD be proud of…  You are, I am willing to bet, braver than you think… STRONGER than you think!  Those quirks you view as “too much for someone to love” you…they are the REASON someone loves you!  You are as divine as the stars in the Night sky.  Never forget it!


Do you thing!  Wear neons if it brightens your mood!  Go to the Dojang with red glitter on your toes! (I DO! 🙂 ) Do a dance move with your own spin so it is uniquely yours – maybe it will be your “signature” at future competitions! Wear mismatched shoes, if you very well feel like it!  Express yourself in whatever way you WANT to…because it is a language that others can see and hear.  You are speaking your story… Sharing your thoughts and values, ideas, and “loves” with everyone around you.  I LOVE to see someone wearing something “different”  because I know they chose that outfit – it makes THEM feel great.  And THAT makes me happy because they feel beautiful.  Express yourself as you feel fit because there are no duplicates of you around.  It’s all the “little things” that makes each person unique…  When those things are shared through expression, it is like passing on love and joy energetically – the whole World benefits from that!


Huge. MASSIVELY important.  You CAN do it.  You can do ANYTHING YOU WANT.  You can create and manifest all the goodness in Life – but you must have faith in YOU.  The Universe will know the difference between you intellectually and conceptually “getting” that idea…versus really believing it.  You have made it through a lot already – you’ve had disappointments and heartache and difficulty…  But there you are! 🙂  Be proud – you have accomplished so much!  Have faith in you – when you are in your own corner, miracles happen!  Believe in you – you made it past hundreds of thousands of years… You survived.  You were the one who lived, and breathed.  YOU are a gem beyond all measure.