Courage

Courage isn’t always that stoic, fearless lion’s face people post all the time.  It isn’t necessarily stronger than the storm, like quotations always say…

Courage isn’t necessarily so earth-shattering that anyone else even sees it but you. . .

Often, it is that gentle whisper in your ear. . .that feeling within you that says, “I have tomorrow to try again.”  

Don’t give up, or allow discouragement to take hold – small steps are still progress. One day at a time is more that good enough.

Giving Yourself A Break

I had a really rough week last week with a loss in my family.  It’s one of those things that I know takes a long time to “get over” – I’ve been there before.  

But. . .I’ve also had a lot of conditioning that makes me feel that I’m a burden if I’m feeling down, or that I have tp put on a happy face…even when it’s the last thing I want to do.

Part of me agrees with the idea that I need to keep going – one foot in front of the other, and sticking to my routine is more helpful than it isn’t – I get out of my brain, for one (which frankly isn’t firing on all synapses at the moment.)

And part of me feels like…let me get through this, and then I can go home and cry when I need to…because it is just as important for my wellbeing to “allow” my emotions” as it is to be stoic.

I haven’t had much energy, but I still go through the motions.  Form is integral, though, and no matter if we are doing lighter weight, or just running our “usual” on autopilot, we have to pay attention to the form.  I’ve made it a habit to really focus on the muscle that should be working when I exercise, so fortunately I’m in tune with what’s moving (and what shouldn’t be.)  I listen to my body and always try to respect when it needs a break…and to give it a little bit of a push if it needs it.

Today was one of my leg days – I have two.  I used to do EVERYTHING on one day, but it’s overboard for me at this stage in the game. Instead, I like having two manageable but challenging days that aren’t to the point that I make myself sick thinking about them (which used to be the case.)  What’s the point if you are stressing about what’s supposed to be fun and / or good for you?!

My usual Tuesday exercises include the following (I try to keep some of my rests “active” to knock out my ab work without tacking on a ton of time – I don’t want to live at the gym the way I used to back in the day!)

  • SQUATS – 5 sets, narrow and wide stance (with a reconstructed knee and no ACL in one, I opt for smith machine for these.  Yes, Physical Therapist approved! 🙂 )
  • PLANKS – 4 minutes total, main core and obliques, interspersed with squats
  • LUNGES – 3 sets each side, smith machine (free weight done on my other leg day)
  • CRUNCHES – 2 minutes total, varied, flutter kick and bicycle variations, interspersed with lunges 
  • STEP-UPS – 3 sets each side, smith machine and bench
  • BULGARIAN SPLIT SQUATS WITH DUMBBELLS – 3 sets each side
  • DUMBBELL DEADLIFTS – 3 sets of 12 to 15 (using 2 45 lbs dumbbells. If I’m at another facility, I’ll use the 110 lb bar.  Too much weight here really hinders kicking in Martial Arts!)
  • AB VACCUUM – 3 minutes total, interspersed with the three exercises above, as they fit
  • DUMBBELL HIP THRUSTS – 3 sets of 16, using the 45 lb weights.. (If at another gym, Ill use an 80 lb bar.)
  • JUMP SQUATS – 2 sets for 30 seconds each
  • BENCH JUMPS – 3 sets of 8 to 10 (IF my legs aren’t total jello)
  • KICK UPS – 3 sets of 15 (with a dumbbell if I want to add one more exercise in)

As I look at it here…it’s A LOT.  I’m even happier that I split it up!

So today wasn’t my finest – I wasn’t feeling great, and I’m incredibly over tired.  BUT…

BUT…

I went to the gym, I put on some music, and I went through the motions (carefully.)  I didn’t get upset if I couldn’t do everything as well as usual, or if I had to cut my reps.  Movement is helpful even when it can’t be as much as I normally do.  It’s SOMEthing, and that’s what matters.

We have the opportunity to melt down at any given time.  We also have the opportunity to pick ourselves up and move forward as best we can.  I choose both, and that’s okay.  One allows me the freedom to be comfortable with myself and what I’m feeling – to acknowledge that those emotions are acceptable.  The other reminds me that I’m goddamn strong, and I will get through ANYthing.  

 

Think Like A Warrior

This think-like-a-champion mindset is the kind of approach that always works. You may not always have the answers, nor the most skill.  You may not have the most experience, nor be (even remotely) the most brave. . . But when you adopt a “I’m not going to lose” attitude,  you will come out on top no matter what.

In Ninpo, we teach the children to “love to lose” – when we ask them WHY they love to lose, they say “WE LEARN!!!” And that’s 1,000% true.  

When I read “I don’t know how I’m going to win, but just know I’m not going to lose” I see words that express…“I may not win, but that doesn’t mean failure.”  To me it isn’t as much about dominating the battle and coming out on top – it’s more that, in this semantic case, the “lose” part isn’t an end-all-be-all defeat.  There will be something gained from the experience and in that way, the warrior wins no matter the physical outcome.  

For us in Ninpo, we want to tie the word “lose” specifically to “learn” for the kids – that association, the notion that losing is not a negative, needs to be strong and firm in their minds. 

But another layer to this – and what I also read in the quotation – is  the idea of “walking on the floor like a champion.” It is the way I took the ice as a figure skater, the way I walked to the center of the mat when testing in Martial Arts, and the way I took the ballroom floor in dancing competition – you have to OWN it. You have to own yourself, and what you have to offer – even if you don’t have as much as the other competitors (PS: THEY don’t know that, only you do!) you need to act like you are on top.  

If you walk out there with any self-doubt, it’s going to show, and it will leave room for someone else to sneak in.  If, however, you raise that head high and own what you have got to give. . .you will astound yourself with how much you can achieve.  Trust me, you can do that without the ego too – it’s about knowing you have what it takes and acting in accordance with the idea that you have already won.

Doug Marcaida – Morning Coffee and Making The Best

I started following Doug Marcaida’s page a little while ago (when, through my husband, I discovered the awesomeness that is Forged In Fire – my kind of “reality” tv! 😉 )

What I love about Doug is that he has a sense of overwhelming positivity – he manages to infuse so much of his content with the passion to learn, to grow, to challenge oneself…and to look for what’s good (in our training, in life…everywhere.) Even when having to present flaws in someone’s design on the aforementioned show, he finds a way to frame the criticism so the contestant learns, but doesn’t feel totally horrendous about their work.  I’ve found that approach with coaches to make ALL the difference in Martial Arts (frankly, in school or work just as much.)

I really enjoyed this “Morning Coffee” post today (today is St. Patty’s, March 17th, but I may schedule this for later!  That’s the date if you want check it out, though!)

Life is definitely NOT peaches and cream all the time – it can get rough and tumble, and there are days where you feel like not only losing it, but throwing in the towel altogether. DON’T LOSE HEART.

I’ve learned a little bit about how painful experiences can be stored in the body, how the brain can then tell your physiology that it’s being directly assaulted, and why that “feeling” registers as “this is going to last forever.”  Which, despite the very real visceral reactions, it isn’t.

People say “time heals” – when you are in the throes of the difficulty (whatever that may be – illness, work, relationship etc…) that’s often the last thing you want to hear. 

BUT…to Doug’s point, making an effort to see the best in everything CAN make a marked difference.  What isn’t mentioned here is the science behind what the brain does in response to the change in attitude and perspective – it’s pretty remarkable and, in its own way, real life “magic.”

Challenge yourself to change your attitude about what’s dragging you down – even if the problem is still there, and might be for some time, the “seeing the good” approach will give YOU – your mind AND body – a break from the (again, very real) effects of doldrums city.

LOVED Doug’s post and hope it brings a little positivity to YOUR day too!