This quotation jumped out at me when I saw it posted in the ether some time ago… It rings so very true for me. I couldn’t say whether it is a result of an empathic heart, INFJ tendencies, or the heavily-leaning introverted side of a potentially ambiverted personality. . .
My solitude is my sanity, and there are times when I must shut out all but what my body does involuntarily – my beating heart, and a chest which rises and falls like the tides, my sole companions.
For a long, long time, the thought of anyone in my space bordered on “terrifying.” It was not specifically a fear of loss, whether to freedom, or privacy, or presence…but more that my soul needed the expanse in which to re-calibrate and recharge. It felt almost like an affront to my very essence to have someone impede spatially in my life – as if I had no sanctuary my own.
I’m still a lot like a lone wolf, but there is one person with whom I am blessed beyond rhyme and reason to have in my life. And he…he won me over so much so that his presence challenged my comfort zone…and single-handedly defeated it.
Is this in the dictionary? Another laugh-out-loud one for all you introvert, INFJ, or socially-averse individuals!
(PS, I maintain I’m an introvert with ambiverted tendencies. Growing up performing gave me a sense of ease when I need to be in a crowd…but they’re also massively draining for me, even when with loved ones, and I DEFINITELY do this. . .)
And I’m not alone!
As an Empath I feel sympathy to the Nth degree – to the point that I can empathize with a smurf! I’m not kidding either – cartoons, fictional films or books…doesn’t matter. My emotions are FULL ON, and have been so attuned since childhood. It takes a seriously concerted effort for me to disconnect and observe without feeling deep compassion. I also love to give back, as do many of those around me.
That said…I am ALSO the same person that might go bananas if you double park or didlly-dally when the rest of us have somewhere to be. Loud neighbors, that’s another one… I get the stare-O-death (same one my Southern Italian mother is notorious for), boiling blood, and a highly irascible tone (probably the better end of my wanting to snap my fingers and have humanity disappear.)
It’s a downright conundrum. I simultaneously believe in beauty everywhere, and the infinitely generous things people are capable of. And then there’s a part of me that sees laziness, anger, taking advantage…which makes me view humanity as a plague. . .
Which is it?
We have the power to create and destroy, terrifying that may be. Being an Ambiverted Introvert gives me the option, I suppose, to choose which side of things I’m on during any given day. (I *try* to stick to positive, don’t worry…but I will also never claim to be miss sugar-and-peace all the time. Thankfully I’m a Gemini also…I can point the finger to the Stars! 😉 )
1,000%. I’d SO much rather be texted…unless I know you, and why (and when!) you are calling!
Just not a group text. I can’t stand group texts…
I’m actually an Ambivert leaning strongly to Introvert (and an Ambivert’ed Introvert, also possible)…but this is SO incredibly true. To the point of laugh-out-loud because I do it all the time.