Afraid Of The Dark

Once upon a time, in the wee stages of life, the darkness felt too vast and terrifying to bear – my heart would shudder at the thought and I needed some external source to light the way.

And yet, as I grew older, I began to realize there was nothing within the inky blackness that had the power to hold sway over me.  For indeed there was a light inside of me that shone brighter than the sun and moon…and it is a light that does not extinguish, no matter what night…neither life…has to say.

Failure (Sometimes Our Greatest) Often Leads To Success

Failure is never “the end,” and neither it is indeed “failure” the way our mind may perceive it.  We are generally our own worst enemies and are – I am willing to bet – doing a lot more RIGHT than we are wrong.

Even when we falter and don’t reach the end we *think* is the correct one, there is a strong possibility that we are headed for a great success (part of a larger tapestry we aren’t always aware of.)

In missing the mark we learn a great deal, and for many of us those lessons stay top of mind.  Take what you see as a “failure” and focus on the good – what you have learned, and what you steered away from, may well have you rerouted for greatness.

What If?

We are all a little too well-versed in self deprecation and leaning towards the negativity tides.

Let’s try focusing on the good all around, releasing the need to put ourselves down, and approach life with gratitude.  I’m willing to bet magic will unfold before our very eyes…

Respect

For a long time I believed that respect was earned – its value is simply too high to just hand out, I thought. But over the years I’ve changed my tune. Why suddenly such a shift? Well…it wasn’t really sudden at all…

I grew up believing that doing unto others is the appropriate way to behave – I certainly have my moments of deviation, but they are – by a long shot – the exception and not the rule. I’ve always, therefore, subscribed to the notion that what we give out comes back to us, multifold – Karmic law, Law of Three, whatever you want to call it…I’ve seen it far too many times to have any doubt at all. Add some painful and challenging experiences – and don’t we all have our stories? – my subscription to the idea that “rising above” is the right way to be has multiplied exponentially.

Hate is a good example. I don’t sincerely “hate” anything – in my mind it is a wasted emotion, and it gives far too much power to something I really don’t like (people, places, OR things.) Hate takes as much – or more! – energy than love. . .so if I’m giving that kind of attention to a “dislike,” I’m wasting precious resources, time included!

It took some time to understand that, though. As children we love to say, “UGH! I HATE HOMEWORK!” or “I hate so-and-so!” “Hate” just falls into the two categories of #1, a word, and #2, a negative. Over the years, however, I learned that it was an extreme expression, that it carried too much of a negative vibe to carry around, and that the act of hating in and of itself reflects poorly in my own conduct.

As with hate, respect is something I am putting out – it is part of my conduct and behavior.  It occurred to me, then, that believing that respect was something other people had to earn was a really narrow-minded view. I can go around being a tyrant but that reflects on me only. I could also go around being a sycophant or victim-worthy subservient…but that too reflects on me (not to mention gets me into trouble.) 

Treating others with respect doesn’t mean I have to give out free passes or put people on pedestals, let’s be clear. What it means – to me – is that I treat others with decency and kindness.

Now…let me also say… I live in a tough city. Even MY buttons are pushed at times, and that says a lot! But I am constantly checking back in with myself when feeling irrational, upset, frustrated etc… If I can’t be respectful (and in certain moments, I don’t feel I can live up to it) I simply do not engage. Easy as that. The only person accountable for what I put out is me, and if I put out something negative…it’s going to get me into trouble in one way or another.

As my behavior is my own, how other people behave is their business.  In the modern world (and in a tough city), people might argue that others “don’t deserve respect.” Conducting myself in as positive a way as I can doesn’t mean I don’t see the poor behavior of others, that I dismiss it, that I allow it, or that I’m saying “go ahead and continue acting that way.” It just means that I am putting a positive energetic spin on myself. 

When dealing with someone I see often, simply rising above allows me to move forward through my day without the burden of taking on his or her attitude, and neither the weight of being a nasty person (which I don’t want to be.)  If, however, it’s someone I’ll likely never see again, I still can move forward knowing that I’ve been upstanding in spite of someone else’s conduct.

Do I do this perfectly? Hell NO!  I’ve learned that I’ve got plenty of limits, and that I’m just as subject to bad moods, grumpiness, and don’t-play-well-with-others as some serious offenders. BUT…I know that, deep down, I don’t want any part of drama or negativity. That fact in and of itself means that I can do a lot to avoid it – namely, work on my on attitude, and approach interactions with respect. How others respond to that is totally on them (and the great news there? TONS of freedom not having to take that on!)

It is always up to us how we want to feel, what we associate with, what we allow… Acting disrespectfully reflects negatively in every possible way, and speaks volumes about one’s character. To show respect even when it doesn’t feel warranted, however, also says rather a ton about a person. I aim to be the latter, if for no other reason than to me it is a noble pursuit energetically, as in terms of self development. I have a ways to go too but you can be sure I try to check myself. Often. 

 

Love My Little Man

It never ceases to amaze me how much we miss the animals we’ve bonded with in life, no matter the time that passes… I was blessed to have this (big) little guy’s trust and love and I will forever be thankful.

Fitting that he transitioned on the Autumn Equinox – he brought a double rainbow and a fiery sky to let me know he was okay. . .

32 “Rules For Sons” (And I’d Argue, Daughters)

A long-time friend of mine recently posted this and it gave me quite a smile. Not only because I had the fortune to have been raised with the same principles (and family and friends who also observed them), but because those dearest to me inherently abide by every single item mentioned. 

The distinction of “gentleman” isn’t awarded lightly (the word itself is imbued with class, grace, poise, and dignity – aspects that are rarer, perhaps, than they should be, and that take true allegiance to be sincere.) It is a way of life whereby one upholds oneself to a rather exacting set of morals and values on a daily basis…ones we would all do well to maintain.

These – kindness, respect, common decency etc. – needn’t, therefore, be relegated to one sex above another…but remain an aspiration for us all.