Every aspect of life is a journey and I suppose that’s the fun of it – nothing remains static and we always have the opportunity to grown and learn. As we get older we are often bombarded with the idea that we have to be young, have to portray that image, or that it is simply too late. None of that is true – there is so much beauty in getting older, and it is absolutely never – ever – too late to try, learn, do something new…especially when that “something” makes your soul glow or your heart beat.
I spent a long time in industries that I was, perhaps, “meant”…but not “destined”…for. While life ebbs and flows, and is indeed rife with ah-ha moments along the way, I’ve realized that I just had a monumental epiphany. And that’s not only okay, but amazing…
I didn’t question my work in fashion – I’d loved so many aspects of the industry from early childhood that it made sense that I was heading that direction. No matter we all thought I was primarily left-brained, I was incredibly drawn to the arts, performing sports, to fashion, to photography, makeup artistry – they were worlds so colorful and captivating that I sort of just “knew” that’s the broad arena in which I’d eventually land. That said, my pedigree was – finally – to the contrary. I did a double major in International Business and Marketing, not exactly the design and creative background required for a position in Product Development. But, what I lacked in typical education, I made up for with enthusiasm and a no-bullshit work ethic.
I suppose throughout it all, I always had a feeling that something was missing – I didn’t have a name for the sensation, nor did I know exactly what, specifically, was absent. I’ve always wanted to do more, be more, achieve more, so I believe I attributed the growing hollowness to that.
But, it wasn’t.
The truth is, life for me is vastly more magical than it isn’t – I will always strive to be better each day, in every aspect of my life, and I will always have goals and aspirations. So that sense of still seeking fulfillment might be there…but after having had more recent revelations, I’m willing to bet it will die down a bit.
I began working with children on a whim many years ago as an instructor in Karate – I wanted to get out of my home town (not to escape an increasingly prosaic routine, but to evade one person, of all things) and this amazing gift, so aptly timed, just fell into my lap. I initially contacted the Sensei in effort to learn new Arts – my background was in the Korean Arts of Hapkido and Taekwondo. Despite my lack of knowledge (or experience) in his Japanese styles, he welcomed me warmly, and with sincere enthusiasm. In seeing my passion for Martial Arts in general, and, I imagine, my personality, he encouraged me to stick around and teach. Game changer.
I realized at that moment both the responsibility I was given, and that I was in the unbelievably fortunate position to offer inspiration to these children. You never know when such moments of motivation and revelation may occur. Knowing that I could provide a strong role model, not only by means of a physically active body, but emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually, was a gift to be valued.
I was, and still am, more of the disciplinarian – it is incredibly important to me that the children enjoy their time at the Dojo (why bother otherwise?!) But it is also a place in which we discuss and learn core values – how to treat one another, the meaning of respect, responsibility, healthy living, honesty, courage, integrity… It isn’t just about how we control our own bodies and space, but how we affect others around us in a physical way, and beyond. Our attitude matters. In some cases, we are reinforcing what is taught at home. In others, however, we are providing a framework and structure that they child is not exposed to elsewhere – a framework that hopefully will help them blossom and embrace life fully, challenges notwithstanding.
I’ve continued working with children in Martial Arts simply because I love to do it – I appreciate the opportunity to instill positive values, to encourage and nudge potential, to lead by example, and to help the children develop important life skills. Along the way, however – and frankly I don’t even recall the impetus – I began to look into working with Special Needs children. The opportunities for children with disabilities is far less, and as a huge proponent of physical fitness, I realized I needed to be out there helping kids who are often denied the chance.
By some great fortune there is a volunteer organization in my state that offers the kinds of hands-on activities I was looking for – they serve children with varying disabilities such as cerebral palsy, autism, down syndrome, ADHD, apraxia, and others. None is so severe on the spectrum that they must reside in full-time facilities, but depending on the child, there might be some aggression, or major athleticism (as in, the “runners” who are hard to keep at one’s side!) For me, though, that’s the fun of it – each child is different, and with my background in Martial Arts training and instructing, I feel very comfortable taking on the toughies.
My time with these children has been relegated to my 39th year of life (and some of my 38th) – my path managed to diverge rather drastically in some way, but I feel suddenly so much more aligned. While it is not currently my profession to work with children with disabilities, I have made it my mission to find ways to help. I have purchased several books to begin self-educating myself, and have reached out to others in the field whom I know are both honest and passionate. It is in so many ways the beginning of a new journey for me, but life has a way of doing that…
Life presents us with opportunities along the way if only we remain open to them. When we listen to what our hearts are truly saying in between the beats, we allow a magic we may not have known existed the opportunity to unfold. The gifts you will receive will be priceless…
Once upon a time I worried about what people thought. I worried about if they’d like what I was wearing, if I looked silly, or if the things I enjoyed weren’t “cool.” But it didn’t last particularly long, those worrisome spells, because I simply couldn’t mold myself to fit within the confines that others did.
Boxes didn’t work for me, and I made myself sick – in the short time I tried to care – trying to figure out what I was “supposed to” do, and “supposed to” be. Based on someone else’s definition, by the way. I was like a dodecahedron trying to fit into a triangular shape – I had so many facets, I’d make a gemologist spin, and the “mold” simply didn’t work.
I feel like that was fortunate for me, though. . .because I learned to just do my thing and be, unabashedly, my curiously off-beat self. It’s so much easier when you don’t have to squeeze yourself in to other shapes. It’s SO much easier being authentic than having to remember the details of the “lie” that you pretend to live.
The world doesn’t need more conformists…it needs the beautiful variety that all of us bring to life. It’s not only okay to be you, it’s what you, and everyone else deserves. If someone takes issue, that’s okay – that’s for them to worry about.
Do your thing, and be ridiculous if you want to. Even if it means wearing obnoxiously-printed leggings, leg warmers a la 1982, and Thundercat shoes at age 38.
Happiness is the heart of the beholder. ❤
I don’t know…eBay is nice and all but Poshmark is pretty great. Once upon a time I was in Product Development in Ladies Footwear – talk about a wild ride! Fashion at it’s finest…and craziest…and literally in the thick of it. We used to say “we see everything from the birth, to the death, of a shoe.” And we did…
Poshmark is great because it offers more than just what you can find on eBay (but, in the same vein, both new and loved items you may not be able to get elsewhere – Fashion obsolescence!)
If you want to list something on Poshmark, while there are fees involved in selling, there aren’t any up front for listing…so even if you get dinged with a small fee at point of sale, you aren’t getting nailed monthly with hefty fees (those on eBay can really add up.) So basically it’s long-term exposure without a major price tag, provided your items need it.
It’s definitely worth checking out if you haven’t as yet… You can do so here.