I had a really rough week last week with a loss in my family. It’s one of those things that I know takes a long time to “get over” – I’ve been there before.
But. . .I’ve also had a lot of conditioning that makes me feel that I’m a burden if I’m feeling down, or that I have tp put on a happy face…even when it’s the last thing I want to do.
Part of me agrees with the idea that I need to keep going – one foot in front of the other, and sticking to my routine is more helpful than it isn’t – I get out of my brain, for one (which frankly isn’t firing on all synapses at the moment.)
And part of me feels like…let me get through this, and then I can go home and cry when I need to…because it is just as important for my wellbeing to “allow” my emotions” as it is to be stoic.
I haven’t had much energy, but I still go through the motions. Form is integral, though, and no matter if we are doing lighter weight, or just running our “usual” on autopilot, we have to pay attention to the form. I’ve made it a habit to really focus on the muscle that should be working when I exercise, so fortunately I’m in tune with what’s moving (and what shouldn’t be.) I listen to my body and always try to respect when it needs a break…and to give it a little bit of a push if it needs it.
Today was one of my leg days – I have two. I used to do EVERYTHING on one day, but it’s overboard for me at this stage in the game. Instead, I like having two manageable but challenging days that aren’t to the point that I make myself sick thinking about them (which used to be the case.) What’s the point if you are stressing about what’s supposed to be fun and / or good for you?!
My usual Tuesday exercises include the following (I try to keep some of my rests “active” to knock out my ab work without tacking on a ton of time – I don’t want to live at the gym the way I used to back in the day!)
- SQUATS – 5 sets, narrow and wide stance (with a reconstructed knee and no ACL in one, I opt for smith machine for these. Yes, Physical Therapist approved! 🙂 )
- PLANKS – 4 minutes total, main core and obliques, interspersed with squats
- LUNGES – 3 sets each side, smith machine (free weight done on my other leg day)
- CRUNCHES – 2 minutes total, varied, flutter kick and bicycle variations, interspersed with lunges
- STEP-UPS – 3 sets each side, smith machine and bench
- BULGARIAN SPLIT SQUATS WITH DUMBBELLS – 3 sets each side
- DUMBBELL DEADLIFTS – 3 sets of 12 to 15 (using 2 45 lbs dumbbells. If I’m at another facility, I’ll use the 110 lb bar. Too much weight here really hinders kicking in Martial Arts!)
- AB VACCUUM – 3 minutes total, interspersed with the three exercises above, as they fit
- DUMBBELL HIP THRUSTS – 3 sets of 16, using the 45 lb weights.. (If at another gym, Ill use an 80 lb bar.)
- JUMP SQUATS – 2 sets for 30 seconds each
- BENCH JUMPS – 3 sets of 8 to 10 (IF my legs aren’t total jello)
- KICK UPS – 3 sets of 15 (with a dumbbell if I want to add one more exercise in)
As I look at it here…it’s A LOT. I’m even happier that I split it up!
So today wasn’t my finest – I wasn’t feeling great, and I’m incredibly over tired. BUT…
I went to the gym, I put on some music, and I went through the motions (carefully.) I didn’t get upset if I couldn’t do everything as well as usual, or if I had to cut my reps. Movement is helpful even when it can’t be as much as I normally do. It’s SOMEthing, and that’s what matters.
We have the opportunity to melt down at any given time. We also have the opportunity to pick ourselves up and move forward as best we can. I choose both, and that’s okay. One allows me the freedom to be comfortable with myself and what I’m feeling – to acknowledge that those emotions are acceptable. The other reminds me that I’m goddamn strong, and I will get through ANYthing.